Bada x Howl: Standing Next to You

XX. SWF2 (Bada POV)

"Can I see?"

"No, I don't want to bother you with this. It's not a big deal; honestly, I don't know why I'm even upset," he shakes his head pointedly. It's the same lines he has repeated these recent weeks and each time, she grows less convinced and more concerned.

"Howl, please let me see," she insists. "I can tell it's bothering you, and that makes me worry more."

He looks at her, as if debating in his mind; finally, he relents and slides over his phone. She enters his passcode and goes to his Instagram message requests. Her mouth drops as she starts reading the messages, his inbox flooded from strangers.

You know your girl is coming home with me?

Are the rumors between you and Bada true? Please tell me no! I can't sleep or eat or live at the thought :(

Is your girlfriend bisexual? If so, let know if you are into threesomes haha ;)

Does she know you're cheating on her with the JJ girls? I've seen your comments on their posts. You're not fooling anyone.

Are you cheating on Bada with Eunki?? Why you comment on her every post?

Are you and Bada gf/bf or just good friends? Is Bada gay?

You should be ashamed of liking and commenting so much on other girls' posts. Please act like you have a girlfriend

Stop using Bada for clout

What's your relationship with Eunki? It seems like you guys are really close. Does Bada know about her?

It's a red flag that your vlogs and posts often feature JJ girls but not your own girlfriend. You should think more carefully about what you post or stop using Bada for clout

One after another the messages accused him, mocked him, asked invasive questions, propositioned him. Some were in Korean and some in other languages. Bada is horrified to see an endless scroll of similar messages, including ones from her supposed fan accounts.

"How long have you been getting these?"

"A few weeks," Howl utters.

She looks up, her heart sinking. "Meaning right after Street Woman Fighter 2 premiered?"

He doesn't say anything but simply nods.

She feels her blood boiling. Between the two of them, she was often the more impatient and hot-blooded; still, most of the time things didn't get under her skin unless it had to do with someone or something she loved. Howl was almost always more cool, calm and collected, but she also knew he had a deeply sensitive side. As much as he tried to hide it, she could tell these messages hurt him.

Street Woman Fighter 2 had debuted a little over a month ago. Given the success of season 1, she and the other contestants had expected a spike in recognition, but her trajectory exceeded all expectations. She had gained almost a million followers and was gaining tens of thousands daily, the rate increasing as new episodes aired. Some had likened her success to that of WayB's Noze from SWF season 1; given Bebe was still going strong in the competition (while WayB was eliminated early), Mnet producers projected Bada would eventually exceed Noze's rise.

Bada had turned down an offer to join season 1 given she was in the middle of preparing for Kai's comeback tour. She recalls watching her friends and fellow dancers rise in renown and feeling pits of envy, eager for the chance to showcase her unique style and abilities. That was why when Mnet approached her for season 2, she immediately accepted the offer and turned down other commitments.

She had hoped it would be a boost for her career, but she hadn't anticipated this level of invasion in her private life. People dug up old posts that she and Howl had archived before he went on Street Man Fighter and posted them online for perpetuity. She received floods of comments on her social media and private messages asking about her relationship status and sexuality, with some borderline harassment. Initially she read every one of her fan comments and messages but soon, she learned to block them out in service of her sanity.

She had already been well known in the dance community prior to the show's airing, but SWF2 skyrocketed her to a level of celebrity few dancers ever achieved. She signed up for the benefits and knew it came with costs. However, she hadn't expected the impact on those closest to her. Bebe members often got messages asking about Bada's private life, and people even tracked down her high school and college friends. Howl bore the brunt of it as her private-but-not-secret boyfriend, with netizens flooding his posts asking about her and tagging him constantly in posts about her. Still, she hadn't realized the depth of harassment he was getting.

"Maybe I should say something, make a post asking people to respect our privacy," she brainstorms quickly, racking her brain for solutions. "Or I can ask producers of the show if they can post something on the contestants' behalf. We can get an agent from Jam—"

Howl shakes his head. "No, I think that would just draw more attention and make this a bigger thing. It's just a few immature, obsessive people. I don't want to give them the satisfaction."

"Are you sure? The show producers said that if we were getting unwanted attention —"

"I'm sure," he says resolvedly. "I appreciate it, but I don't think this is worth giving more attention to. And I don't want to drag you into this."

But it's my fault, she thinks guiltily.

********* 

Bada dries herself with a towel and slips on an oversized T-shirt - one of Howl's. As she comes out of the shower, tussling her hair, she finds Howl sitting in bed still on his phone, his face tense. She climbs into bed though he doesn't budge.

After a while, she reaches for him. "Love, will you cuddle with me?"

Howl looks up, startled back to reality. He finds her gazing at him and breaks into his usual grin, putting down his phone on the nightstand. He climbs under the covers, wrapping his arms around her; they kiss softly several times before she nestles her head on his chest. She reaches under his shirt to stroke his chest, something she often did to soothe him; after a while, she can feel his body relax and his breathing deepen as he drifts to sleep.

She lays on him, her mind restless. Through the show, she had enraptured millions of people who adored her from afar, yet she felt powerless to help the one person she loved most up close.

She's furious at the "fans" who don't give a second thought to harassing them through the shield of an anonymous username. She's sickened by a celebrity culture that makes people feel entitled to the private lives of those in the public eye. But mostly, she's upset with herself for not seeing this coming and not doing more to protect him.

Eventually, she reaches for his phone. It takes her nearly two hours to go through his IG message requests, but she finds each harassing message and goes to her account to block and report them, one by one.