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P5 - Chapter Forty-two

I stared at both him and Qibli. "But why? What happened that made you want to..." I stopped short before taking a small breath. "Does Kinkajou know?"

Turtle slightly cringed. "Not exactly."

"What about Winter?"

"No."

"So, what?" I asked. "You guys are just keeping this little secret from them? They deserve to know, and if it's so irrelevant, then there shouldn't be a problem."

"Moon," Qibli gently said. "I get why you're upset. I just thought—"

"You're right," Fjord suddenly interjected, and I shot him a glare. "They should have told you. It may have helped you when you were at your worst."

"This doesn't concern you," I said firmly. Sora sat beside Fjord, quiet and keeping her gaze pinned to the table. Fjord stared at me for a moment.

"We're alike, you and me," Fjord pointed out. "If I was your boyfriend, I would have told you. Just saying."

I let out a long, aggravated sigh. Qibli had a look on his face, but this time it was a look I didn't recognize at all.

"But you're not," I finally said, responding to Fjord. "And you never will be."

At this point, Fjord just seemed fed up. "Look, I get Qibli's a great guy and all, but I am right here. I literally fought him for you. Doesn't that say anything to you?"

"I hit first," Qibli said, glaring. "So technically I fought you."

"We fought each other," Fjord snapped, glaring back.

"I think it's sad that you have to chase after a girl who doesn't like you in the slightest," Qibli declared.

"Well, I find it sad that you have to try so hard to keep one," Fjord countered. "Guess you have competition, huh?"

Turtle and I exchanged an exasperated glance.

"You're not even half as good-looking as I am," Fjord remarked, leaning back against his chair.

"That's not even a valid argument," Qibli scoffed. "Your head is too far up your ass for you to realize how pathetic you sound."

"How pathetic I sound?" Fjord demanded, throwing his hands in the air. "At least I'm not self-conscious all the time and have to punch a guy to prove a point!"

"I punched you to get your brain working, but it clearly didn't work."

"You punched me over a girl because you knew you were losing her and I was winning, so you got mad."

"Y'know, you have a lot to say for a guy who—"

"My first time," Sora suddenly blurted, breaking the argument, "was when my sister died."

Silence fell in the room as everyone turned to her, that being the first time we'd heard her voice.

"It's a weird feeling," she continued, fidgeting with a lock of her hair. "When she died, all I did was feel angry. I didn't even give myself time to mourn. I was just mad. I needed to find a way to let my anger out other than wrecking my room, so when I found a lighter in the far corner of my shelf, I lost complete control."

She didn't say anything else after that. She didn't even lift her gaze to look at us. We sat there in silence for a few moments.

"It was like that for me, too," Turtle calmly said, which slightly caught me off guard. "I was mad at my mother, but mostly at myself. I had formed the mindset that it was my fault she hated me so much. But then I realized that holding in all that anger was slowly eating away at who I was, so I found different ways to let that anger out."