Queen of Ashes │ Season 1 │The Journey

14 │A lonely lamb

"Your king will probably be truly disappointed to have him bring such a brat," Freya said, completely ignoring his earlier statement. "No man forcing a woman into a marriage would be happy about that."

"My king..." He started but quickly corrected himself, "My brother is a complicated person. He's not easy to deal with. It isn't going to be pleasant at first, I have to be honest with you... But as short as I've known you, I can already tell your character is something my land definitely needs in a queen." He raised his hand at her face level and caressed her softly on the cheek, starting shivers all over her body once more.

Although his caress was probably all her body wanted right now, she quickly gathered herself and started thinking about something else—about lost freedom, about constant loneliness, about the marriage without love, and about how her life turned out utterly different than her parents would have wished for.

In this case, her good and playful mood was gone all over. Freya couldn't focus on anything else than wishing it wasn't her life at all. She couldn't hide the tears gathering in her eyes. After a few seconds, they fell easily, making her look like the mess she was.

Freya felt embarrassed for showing him this side of her—her weakness. If only she'd be stronger, she could continue this charade. Something in the man beside her made her lower the walls though. Emotions were fleeing from her without permission.

"I don't want all of this. I don't want him. I don't want him near me. He threatened my people, Leander, my family... And for what?" She was looking for her next words in his eyes. "For a good, human fuck? For someone, he could dispose after a few decades, while he still exists knowing, he took everything from me?"

Leander wasn't wasting time pulling her closer. "Come here." She didn't have much time to respond when her body landed in his arms. A warm feeling spread through her stopping the tears. She took a deep breath feeling his scent surrounding her. This seemed to calm her.

"I know this is hard for you, Frey. I wish things were different. I have never supported my brother over this decision," he had started, holding her firmly and making little circles with his hand on her back. "I know hearing this would probably do you no good, but you won't be alone through this. I want to help you." Freya felt him pulling out just to feel his hands cupping her cheeks gently.

His words unleashed a wave of such weird emotions, that without realizing it, she backed off creating some space between them. Something stirred in her right this moment.

Maybe it was the cruel reality reaching her at last—clearing her head from the mess of previous emotions, but she suddenly realized that even though Prince's words were kind and probably honest, they were also brutally untrue.

Nothing would change in her situation. She was lonely at her court as a human. How on earth would she find a sense of belonging at a place where even her race would be so painfully distinctive? She would have to wake every night just to feel these mocking gazes telling her that she was there just to fit for their king's purpose. A tool in his hands.

So no. Leander couldn't be more wrong. She was going to be alone. She was going there to serve as the fucking human between the horde of vampires. Of course, she would be alone all the time.

"You're wrong," she said firmly, a newfound determination reaching her eyes.

"About what?" If he was upset by her reaction, he didn't show it.

"Whatever you say, Leander, I will be alone... I am a fucking lamb reaching a horde of wolves. How do you think am I going to find my place in this situation?" Freya felt a hint of regret for saying that to the only person seeming to care a bit, but she couldn't hide these feelings from him. Something pushed her to stay honest in this weird relationship. "Thank you for your support but your words are just a naïve dream. Just as you said earlier, you alone would not change my fate. I am going to be miserably alone through all of this, no matter if you support your brother or not."

Something glimpsed in Leander's eyes. It was so faint, almost unnoticeable, but Freya caught it. Was it hurt? She didn't have much time to analyze it when he straightened himself, wearing his normal, neutral face again.

"You're right. I have no such power to change your fate, although I wish I could. I'm sorry you have to go through all of this. I really do."

Freya averted her gaze to the floor, fighting the mess spreading in her head. One moment she felt a certain clarity, the next, she felt ashamed for stating her thoughts aloud. On the other hand, why would she care? He was, after all, a vampire—the brother of the very man responsible for all of her misery. Her mind was set on protecting herself by any means necessary, but her heart told her she wasn't fair.

"Never mind. No words will change this," she said defensibly. "I will better catch some sleep now."

"Of course. I'll leave you to it," he responded calmly. Freya's head rose, glancing at him shortly. Their eyes met again and she sensed that he wanted to tell her something more but restrained himself quickly. Without anything more to add, he turned toward the door, leaving her finally alone.

Just as he left, she couldn't stop her tears anymore. She wasn't sure why was she crying. Was it her way of mourning over her old life or rather a way of expressing regret for treating this way the only man kind enough to care?

She reached her bed and lay down there. The truth was—she wasn't sleepy.The Prince's visit drove all of her sleepiness off. So she lay, staring at theceiling and thinking about everything and nothing at all.