My Muse scaramouche x reader

I felt like vomiting

I was pacing. I woke up earlier than usual because I was busy thinking about how I had to talk to Scaramouche. My nerves are driving me crazy. I know that it isn't my call whether or not Kazuha should have told me but I regret asking. He told Kazuha not to tell me anything for a reason but did anyway and now I don't know whether or not I should talk to him about it.

What if it makes him mad and he stops talking to Kazuha, or what if what Kazuha thought we were feeling was wrong and we both look stupid?

Maybe I don't talk to him and just let him do what he is going to do, who am I to try and get him to talk if he isn't wanting to? I was probably overthinking this, I should just let things happen how they were going to. I'm not one to leave things up to fate but maybe this once I will.

I don't even understand why I was so worked up over this, it's not like I've known him all that long. But something was making me feel like I couldn't breathe.

Later that morning I got to school my head still filled with those ifs.

"Hey, how'd last night go with Scaramouche?" Ajax asked coming up to walk beside me with Lumine following behind him.

"Ah it went fine, we started the essay though we couldn't finish since it got late so we are going to continue tonight." I shrugged faking nonchalance.

"Ah that makes sense, well once you guys are completely finished with your project we should hang out after school. Since ya know you have been busy for the past few weeks." Ajax suggested

"Yeah that would be nice, maybe we can go to that cafe with the yummy scones!" Lumine smiled.

I nodded with a smile. "For sure, but I have to go my class is about to start." we parted ways and I went to class.

I was barely able to focus all day until it was time to meet up with scars. My stomach was in knots as I made my way to the entrance of school.

"Took your time, are you ready?" Scaramouche asked in a sarcastic annoyed tone. getting up the the puller he was leaning against he asked "Ready to go?"

My breath felt stuck in my throat. "Yeah." I managed to breathe out and we went to his car. The car ride was silent though my mind was loud with swirling thoughts. What was wrong with me? Why do I feel like this? I couldn't wait for this to be over, I just wanted my peace back.

We made it to his house and went inside. I took out my laptop and started to write, only I couldn't. My mind was blank.

I stared at the laptop for what felt like an eternity before Scaramouche spoke up. "Y/N are you ok? You've been staring without doing anything for ten minutes."

I looked up at him my stomach in knots. "Ah, just writer's block that's all." I smiled with a false calmness.

He said nothing for a moment before speaking again. "He talked to you didn't he." he sighed and closed his laptop. "I told him not to say anything."

I felt like vomiting, I don't know why.

"What exactly did he tell you?" he questioned closing my laptop so he could see my face. I hadn't noticed until he did but I was hiding behind my laptop.

I sighed and spilled it all. "Kazuha told me that you have known me for a while and I didn't know. He told me that he thinks you cared about me but he wasn't sure, he said that should talk to you about it." now that I said it out loud I really felt stupid for stressing so much.

Someone kill me.

"I really wish he would let me deal with my own problems." He took a deep breath "he isn't wrong. I have known you longer than recently. It was the first semester, at first, I didn't like you I thought you were quite annoying."

I rolled my eyes

"Eventually after some time I came to be intrigued by you, I'm not sure what it was and, to be frank, I was really mad about it." he rubbed the back of his neck. He seemed to be just as uncomfortable about this as I was. "As you probably know I don't like people, I find them really annoying and dumb. And the fact you didn't made me think you were even more annoying than other people."

I glared. "Is that why you were such a jerk to me when we first met?"

"Yes," he stated flatly

"Red flag." I teased causing him to scoff.

"Shut up it's your fault maybe if you would stop being... whatever you are being I wouldn't have to be mean to you," he grumbled.

"You are pathetic honestly." I laughed. He tried to hide the smile he had plastered on his face behind his hand. I noticed.

"Anyways shut up so I can finish." I quieted down so he could finish. "I had watched you for a while as creepy as that sounds now, and I ended up mindlessly sketching you one night while Kazuha was over and of course, he saw. He pestered me who it was for days about it until finally, I told him." he got up and took one of the books out and opened it passing me a paper.

(all credits go to the original artist I just found this on pinterest.)

I stared at the sketch for a moment before looking up at him. "I remember painting that portrait, I didn't know you were watching." I felt guilty, all this time he was there and I never paid enough attention to see it.

He nodded before taking it back. "I was and I stupidly drew this and let Kazuha see, he has been pestering me about you ever since. And when we saw each other at the arcade and he met you finding out you were my partner I knew he would never leave me alone about it."

I sat for a moment taking what he said in. "Why didn't you ever try talking to me?"

"I don't know, I am not the go-up-and-talk-to-people type I guess. When Mrs Lisa pared us up I have to admit I was nervous."

"You were nervous to talk to me? I should have been nervous to talk to you, the only reason I wasn't is because Ajax lied to me and said you were a "super chill, cool guy." I rolled my eyes.

"He's an idiot. But yes I was, not because I thought you would be mean. But because what if who I thought you were from afar was different than up close? And yes you were but in a good way." he said in the last part as if he were embarrassed "When you left early the first day I beat myself up over it for the rest of the night, I felt like I was a jerk... which I was."

"Yeah, you kinda were." I laughed

"But since I've gotten to know you a bit more, you don't suck as bad as I was afraid of. You still are kinda annoying" he continued with a mocking tone "and I hope now that you know all of this you will forgive me for being a bit of a jerk."

"A bit of a jerk? You had me wanting to strangle you." I teased. "But I do forgive you. Only if you and I can be actual friends, and you have to unblock Ajax."

"No," he stated flatly. "No about the Ajax part."

"Oh come on! He wants to be friends with you so bad! Please for me?" I pleaded.

"No way in hell, not even for you." he groaned but then laughed. He held out a hand. "Let's introduce ourselves again but correctly this time. I'm Scaramouche, nice to meet you."

I took his hand and shook on it. "I'm Y/N it's nice to meet you too."

A/N
YAY, THEY ARE FRIENDS NOW SO I CAN MOVE ON!  I didn't want to go from him being mean to her to instantly confessing cause
1 that would be way too soon
2 I felt he needed to apologize for being such a brat.
ANYHOO LMK WHAT YOU THINK
LOVE YOU ALL (except Talilah) xoxo hails.