𝕽𝖔𝖘𝖊𝖐𝖔𝖔𝖐 𝕺𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖙𝖘

Still With You ( 9 )

In early February the pills chaeyoung was taking were increased to help offset the heightened pain she was feeling. The higher dosages made her dizzy, and twice she fell when walking to the bathroom, one time hitting her head against the washbasin. Afterward she insisted that the doctors cut back her medicine, and with reluctance they did. Though she was able to walk normally, the pain she was feeling intensified.

The moon continued its slow drift
upward, shimmering as it turned a thousand different shades of yellow, each paler than the last, before finally becoming the color of the stars....

Chaeyoung watched all this in silence, my arm tight around her, her breathing shallow and weak. As the sky was finally turning to black
and the first twinkling lights began to appear in the distant southern
sky, I took her in my arms. I gently kissed both her cheeks and then, finally, her lips.

"That," I said, "is exactly how I feel about you."

"Chaeyoung" I pleaded, "what can I do for you?"

I held her hand close to my heart,
Part of me wanted to cry right then, but instead I laid her hand back down and turned to face the window.

Why, I wondered, had my world suddenly unraveled as it had? Why had all this happened to someone like her? I wondered if there was a
greater lesson in what was happening....

"Do you love me?" I asked her.

She smiled. "Yes."

"Do you want me to be happy?" As I asked her this, I felt my heart beginning to race.

"Of course I do."

"Will you do something for me, then?"

She looked away, sadness crossing her features. "I don't know if I can anymore," she said.

"But if you could, would you?"

I cannot adequately describe the intensity of what I was feeling at that moment. Love, anger, sadness, hope, and fear, whirling together,
sharpened by the nervousness I was feeling.

Chaeyoung looked at me curiously,
and my breaths became shallower. Suddenly I knew that I'd never felt as strongly for another person as
I did at that moment.

"Yes," she finally said, her voice weak yet somehow still full of promise. "I would."

Finally getting control of myself, I kissed her again, then brought my hand to her face, gently running my fingers over her cheek. I marveled at the softness of her skin, the gentleness I saw in her eyes. Even now she was perfect.

My throat began to tighten again, but as I said, I knew what I had to do. Since I had to accept that it was not within my power to cure her, what I wanted to do was give her something that she'd always wanted. It was what my heart had been telling me to do all along.

I smiled softly, and she returned my affection with a slight squeeze of my hand, as if trusting me in what I was about to do. Encouraged, I leaned closer and took a deep breath. When I exhaled, these were the words that flowed with my breath.

"Will you marry me?"

*********************************

I remember everything as clearly as if it were all still unfolding before my very eyes. I remember chaeyoung saying yes to my breathless question and how we both began to cry together. I remember talking to both Mason and my parents, explaining to
them what I needed to do. They thought I was doing it only for chaeyoung, and all three of them tried to talk me out of it, especially when they realized that Chaeyoung had said yes. What they didn't understand, and I had to make clear to them, was that I needed to do it for me.

I was in love with her, so deeply in love that I didn't care if she was sick. I didn't care that we wouldn't have long together. None of those things mattered to me. All I cared about was doing something that my heart had told me was the right thing to do.

Chaeyoung was more than just the woman I loved. In that year chaeyoung helped me become the man I am today. With her steady hand she showed me how important it was to help others; with her patience and kindness she showed me what life is really all about. Her cheerfulness and optimism, even in times of sickness, was the most amazing thing I have ever witnessed.

We were married in the church. I knew she planned on wearing the dress she'd worn in the Playhouse the night of the play. It was the only white dress that was available on such short notice, though I knew it would hang more loosely than it had before. While I was wondering how chaeyoung would look in the dress, my father laid his hand on my shoulder as we stood before the congregation.

"I'm proud of you, son."

Then chaeyoung and Mason slowly made their way down the aisle, while everyone in the church sat
silently in wonder. Halfway down the aisle, chaeyoung suddenly seemed to tire, and they stopped while she caught her breath. Her eyes closed, and for a moment I didn't think she could go on. I know that no more than ten or twelve seconds elapsed, but it seemed much longer, and finally she nodded slightly. With that, they started moving again, and I felt my heart surge with pride.

My father handed me the ring my mother had helped me pick out, and chaeyoung gave me one as well. We slipped them on our fingers. Mason watched us as we did so, and when we were finally ready, he pronounced us husband and wife.

I kissed chaeyoung softly as my mother began to cry, then held chaeyoung's hand in mine. In front of God and everyone else, I'd promised my love and devotion, in sickness and in health, and I'd never felt so good about anything.

It was the most wonderful moment of my life. It is now twenty years later, and I can still remember everything from that day. I may be older and wiser, I may have lived another life since then, but I know
that when my time eventually comes, the memories of that day will be the final images that float through my mind.

I still love her, you see, and I've never removed my ring. In all these years I've never felt the desire to do so.

I breathe deeply, taking in the fresh spring air. I have changed, the air itself has not. It's still the air of my childhood, and when I finally exhale, I'm fourty once more.

But this is okay.

I smile slightly, looking toward the sky, knowing there's one thing I still haven't told you: I now believe,
by the way, that miracles can happen.......

" I'll always miss her... but our love is like the wind"
"I can't see it... but I can feel it"

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Ok guys now I am crying 😭😭
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Vote and comment please 🙏