What happens when Twin Flames finally meet? One has a jaded, cynical and distorted view of reality. While the other is riddled with past trauma and unhealed hurt? This is what Ruki and Kimia-Lee are about to find out. Not everything has a fairytale...
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He thought he was hiding, but he wasn't. Not well anyway. Not from me. I had always told him that no matter what, I would always, always pick him out from a crowd. And tonight was no different.
I had felt his eyes on me throughout our first song 'Unbroken'. Eyes that I recognised the feeling of. I had immediately begun to scan the crowd and within a few minutes, I had spotted him. He was dressed in black jeans, a slate grey t-shirt and his long black cardigan that he loved so much. His silver and gold jewellery glittering a little in the lights from the stage. His hair was a dark, dirty blonde now, as opposed to the dark brown and pale blonde that it had been when I had been with him.
It was shorter now than it had been then, brushing the base of his neck as opposed to his shoulders. But it was still him. Even though he wore a dark mask that covered the bottom half of his face and a beanie that was pulled down low over his head, leaving only the tips of his hair visible. But I would recognise Takanori Matsumoto anywhere at any time, regardless of what was going on around us. His presence had always been a physical feeling within me that I could never ignore.
I felt my heart begin to race as my body flooded in an all too familiar warmth. A warmth that only he could elicit from me. I could feel as the age old fires of dizzying want and need for him, bubbled up inside of me. I had always desired this man, no matter what he did to me. No matter what he said or called me. I always, always desired him.
It was a perverse desire that was persistent and inescapable. A desire that could only ever be tamed by him burying himself deep inside of me, while having me pinned to his bed. No one else could touch it or make it relent, only he could. I should know, I had tried.
For a while after we had split, I would still get cravings for him. Cravings that would never settle and so, like any other person, I had looked for a willing partner for the night. But each time it had failed. Even if the sex had been amazing and scratched an itch of some kind. It never touched the desire for Takanori.
The only way I had found to settle down? Was to have a toy that matched his...dimensions...to put it politely. Which I would then use on myself while thinking back on all of our sexual interactions with one another. I could still lead a relatively normal sex life, but it only worked as long as I never thought of him. Which was rare. I always thought of him in at least some small way, every day.
I had kept up with him and his music, and my heart had seized when I listened to DOGMA. I knew exactly what that album had been about. Us. Pure and simple. From the beginning to the bitter end. I'd cried with every song that played and felt my heart as it broke over and over again. But it was the least I deserved. He'd been a bastard with absolutely no argument there at all. It was pure fact. But I had also been a venomous bitch with him in every way I could possibly think off.
If it could hurt him? I did it. He would tear me apart piece by piece, right down to my very soul. But I retaliated and did the exact same to him. We wanted to hurt each other because in hurting each other? We could forget about how much we hurt within ourselves. The pain of our toxic relationship, although agonising, was better than the pain that we inflicted on ourselves. It hurt less. And so, we lashed out at one another. Just to feel a little bit better within ourselves.
