44: 𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦

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With a deep sigh, Alice closed the front door behind her.

She had stayed at Rafe's for another night after they got back from their little trip to the beach yesterday.

But this morning, when she woke up and the oppressive mood in Tannyhill - after last night's events - became too much for her, all she wanted to do was go home.

She'd thought it would get easier once she didn't have to lie about their relationship anymore, but somehow it had only gotten worse. But finally being home at least took away the pressure she felt on her chest.

The loud clanging from the kitchen lured Alice down the hall and made her follow the noise into the room in question, where she found her mom.

The brown-haired woman had managed to make the kitchen look like a bomb full of baking ingredients had exploded in it.

The scent of sweet cake batter wafted around when Laurel spotted her daughter at the doorway. „oh hey, sweetie"

„Hi." Alice replied shortly and entered the kitchen.

If there was one thing she knew, it was that her mom usually only baked on certain occasions.

„How was the sleepover, had fun?" Laurel asked cheerfully, watching Alice sit down on the high kitchen stools at the kitchen island.

She didn't answer her and folded her arms in front of her on the marble counter, resting her head on them.

„What's wrong?" Laurel's cheerful mood faded.

„She found out"

„Who found out what?"

Alice rubbed her face tiredly, feeling the drama of yesterday gnawing at her. „Sarah found out about me and Rafe."

„Wait a minute" Laurel lowered the spatula - which she was using to frost the cake - with a frown. „you didn't tell her?"

She nibbled guiltily on her bottom lip and just shook her head in response.

„Oh god, Alice."

„I knew she would react like that, so of course I didn't tell her" She explained hastily.

Sighing, her mom leaned against the kitchen counter. She crossed her arms in front of her after tucking a strand of her brown hair behind her ear and looked up at Alice wordlessly, which didn't make the feeling of guilt inside her any better.

„She caught us kissing and totally freaked out and I tried to explain it to her but she wouldn't let me talk and wouldn't listen to me because of course she had to make it all about herself again"

„Listen, sweetie" Laurel interrupted her whirlwind of words. "Sarah's...difficult" She took a second to think about her next words before continuing. „...maybe she feels like you're choosing Rafe over her and you know best what she's like when she gets hurt"

"I didn't mean to hurt her." Alice rubbed her upper arm uncomfortably. „I just thought that...after everything that happened, she'd be happy for me"

„Others will never support your happiness, no matter who they are" She said sensitively.

Alice parted her lips to say something, but the words got stuck in her throat.

This conversation was like a never-ending spiral.

It was a mix of wisdom and pointing out her mistakes, which Alice was more than aware of.

She was more than aware - now that she had slept over it for a night - how wrong it had been not to tell Sarah.

Trust was expensive. Priceless. No matter what type of connection you formed with a person - friendships or relationships - trust played a role in each.

Didn't she trust Sarah enough to tell her?

„But look at me and your dad" Laurel interrupted Alice's thoughts with a chuckle. „my friends didn't like seeing me with him either and now we are married and have two kids"

Even though Alice had heard her parents' love story thousands of times, she had to smile.

„So no matter what others say, it's about what you want and if you want Rafe, Sarah has no say in that"

„God, me and Rafe are not getting married" She rolled her eyes with a sweet laugh.

Her mom smiled knowingly and hummed. „I'm not talking about the present, I'm talking about the future"

But the future was so far away. The idea of ​​getting married...seemed so incredibly out of reach for Alice. She was just seventeen, young and sweet, had a boyfriend and didn't see him as a man to marry.

„He doesn't seem like someone who'd ever want to get married" She summarized her thoughts with a shrug.

„Well, you can change people as long as they want to be changed." Laurel spoke, letting a silence fall into the conversation.

Change people as long as they want to be changed.

Alice thought about it for a moment.

She had no intention of completely changing and twisting Rafe. The version of him she had now was hers and the one she had fallen in love with, she wouldn't want to change that, but...

But there was one small thing about him that she would like to change if she could.

She thoughtfully played with the bracelet on her left wrist. „do you think you can change a person's habit?"

„What kind of habit?"

„A repetitive habit." Alice replied firmly.

„Am I not allowed to know what kind?" Laurel frowned suspiciously.

She shook her head without hesitation because no matter how much trust there was between them, she wouldn't be able to bring herself to tell her mom about her boyfriend's addiction.

Laurel nodded in understanding. „well, I think if the person realizes that it's a bad habit, you can change that too, but it depends on the person"

So far, Alice had only seen what Rafe was like twice when he did coke.

The first time he yelled at her, grabbed her by the jaw and actually...scared her in a way.

The other time he was completely different, standing on her balcony crying and looking for her closeness.

The effect of coke on him had a range so wide that Alice couldn't even tell if he was hurting himself or those around him more.

And the worst part was that she had no idea how deep into the habit he was.

He hid his addiction as if he simply closed the curtains around it when he had to.

Sighing, Alice got off the stool. „I think I'll go to my room now, thanks for the talk"

She headed for the door and was already over the threshold, almost around the corner in the hallway, when Laurel called her back to tell her something else.

With a hesitant smile, her mom adjusted her baking apron. „I think you should know that the Camerons are coming over for dinner tomorrow"

Great. It probably couldn't get any worse.

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