22: 𝘌𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘦

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R A F E

Rafe closed the door behind him with a loud slam, sounding as if the door itself almost fell out of it's frame.

His hectic gaze rushed over all the people milling around on the second floor of the house.

But he couldn't find her. Alice, who was the only one he was looking for among all the other faces.

He quickly pushed past the many people and headed for the stairs, but all the alcohol he had already drunk - mixed with the coke lines - slowly but surely shot up into his head.

But even though he was wobbly on his feet, he couldn't let it happen again.

Rafe didn't want him and Alice to part in a fight again. Above all, he didn't want to be to blame twice.

When he arrived downstairs, having bumped into someone more than once on his way down, he hurried through the entrance area in the direction of the living room.

All until suddenly two firm hands grabbed him by the shoulders and stopped him.

„Wow, wow, wow" Kelce grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him back, giving him nowhere to go. „slow down"

Rafe pushed Kelce's hands away. „get the fuck out of my way"

„Bro, you gotta chill out"

„Don't tell me what to do" He hissed trough his teeth, looking at the arch that led into the living room.

His friend shook his head. Alice had trotted past him less than a minute ago, completely furious, not responding to any of his try's to get her to stop.

Kelce wasn't stupid, of course he knew Rafe was looking for her.

He just never saw his best friend running after a girl like that.

„Now listen to me, I may know damn little about girls and shit, but what I do know is that your girl wants to see everyone but you right now" He hit him hard on the chest. „Look at you bro, trapped in coke heaven and you still think she would like to talk to you some more?"

Swallowing hard, Rafe rubbed his face, his hands shaking from the heat in his bloodstream. Only a handful of people in his life gave him a jolt back to reality when he needed it, but Kelce was one of them.

„Now get the fuck out on the porch, we gotta talk" He pushed him in the direction of the front door.

Rafe clenched his jaw. His gaze lingered on the arch to the living room one last time before he walked out the door with Kelce.

Darkness had spread over Kildare island. The cold of the night hit Rafe right in the face and sent a sharp pain through his temples, showing that he had definitely overdone his consumption.

Once again.

Rafe leaned his back against the railing. His breaths were deep but heavy, the air filling his lungs aching in his chest. Or it was the mere thought of how he had treated Alice.

Because he didn't want to admit it, but ever since they had spent a night together, she had been stuck in his head.

But he hadn't dared to text or call her because he wasn't good at expressing his feelings unless it was anger.

„After Midsummer's, when you suddenly showed up at my place in the middle of the night" Kelce started talking and got Rafe's attention. „the stuff you told me, was it all about Alice?"

The night he left Alice's place still swayed in his mind like a heavy cloud.

He had left so many girls after having sex with them, but with her it was...different.

So different that he showed up at Kelce's that same night looking for some advice and someone to talk to about those weird feelings he had been feeling lately.

„Shit, you've been talking about Blakely this whole time" Kelce chuckled slightly and leaned against the wall across from Rafe. „you got yourself into some real shit, dude"

„Shut up" Rafe mumbled quietly as Kelce offered him a cigarette, which he took without further ado.

„Nah, don't act like you don't remember what you told me that night"

He lit his cigarette in silence, the light of the flame reflecting in his eyes until the ashy smoke filled his lungs.

„The whole thing about oh, I'm not good enough for her, but I want her and oh, I don't know if she feels the same" He reminded him.

„I'm not good enough for her"

„No shit Sherlock"

With a piercing look, he glared up at Kelce, who raised his hands in surrender. „I'm not saying that it wouldn't fit. I mean, you two would make a hot couple-„

„A hot couple?" Rafe grimaced in confusion.

„Uh yeah, with Alice being the hot part" He said deliberately, as if he was speaking nothing but facts. „but we both know that she's the kind of girl who won't deal with the problems of an enraged coke addict"

Sighing, Rafe nodded and looked down at the dark wooden floorboards of the porch.

There was a lot to be said against him and Alice ever becoming what he imagined. But the most obvious thing was that she was everything he would never be.

Opposites. Opposites that attracted each other, but were in no way compatible.

Alice was too...kind. She had her little flaws, but they were nothing like his and among all her supposed flaws, he found things that he just couldn't forget.

Her cheeks, for example, and the way they filled up every time she smiled with that softness that no one had ever smiled at him with before. Or how carefully she had touched him when she had fixed his wounds after the fight with JJ.

There was something about the way she treated him that completely messed with his heart.

He hated it - every second of it - because he didn't want to feel what he felt, he didn't want her to swirl around in his mind but...oh, still he would do anything to call her his.

And only his.

„So she really has you wrapped around her finger, huh?" Kelce snapped Rafe out of his thoughts after a moment of silently observing how he lost himself. „damn, I never thought I'd see you being in love"

„I'm not in love" He shook his head, flicking away the burnt down cigarette.

„Uh-huh, mister tough guy, I can't blame you" Kelce sighed, shrugging nonchalantly. „you're not the only one who wants her"

„What did you just say?" He furrowed his brows.

„Not me dude, I don't want your girl, but a lot of other guys do"

And Rafe knew damn well that they could all possibly offer her so much more than he ever could.

„But well, don't be to concerned about that cause eyes never lie" Kelce shrugged and made Rafe notice that he was probably just as high as he was, making him huff in confusion. „What the fuck are you talking about?"

„Dude, the way she looked at you in the kitchen, this girl wants you, but I really don't know why, cause' you're literally dumb" Kelce stepped closer to him, lowering his voice as if this were top secret information.

They were the only ones on the porch.

„So if you want her, get your shit together and show her that you're good enough for her"

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