Remus sat stiffly on the couch staring at his godson. It was a bit difficult to intercede the small and scared teenager he knew to the person that stood in front of him in expensive clothes and chatting with the two bodyguards by the door. Remus was not stupid, it had been years since he came in direct contact with any of them, but he knew the members of the sacred twenty-eight by heart. He would be able to pick out the crest of the Malfoy family any place. Although, how exactly Harry had come in contact with a Malfoy of all persons was a mystery to him.
Harry had not intended on bringing Remus back to the apartment with him. However he knew, Crabbe and Goyle would not just let him wander off with anyone even if Harry had known them his whole life, at least not without informing Draco and the last thing he wanted was for the blonde to burst into Remus' home guns ablazing. After sending his bodyguards out of the room, Harry settled down on the couch opposite to Remus. The beta was clutching at his bag, his eyes nervously roving all over the place before finally settling on him.
Harry's mouth hung open but now words would escape. He can remember how much his fifteen year old self had wished and prayed to see Remus again, and now that the man was sitting in front of him, he could not seem to think of anything to say. No he could, he had questions bubbling up at the back of his throat. He wanted to ask why, he wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, he wanted to hit Remus, to ask him why he and Sirius had abandoned him. But he could not articulate any of it, his emotions were running too wild to tame them into actual thoughts.
Remus did not know where to begin. How to explain to Harry what exactly had happened. how did he explain to boy he thought of as his son that he had no choice. That every single day since they left him in Surrey, he and Sirius had been fighting for a way to get back in touch with him.
Remus swallowed nervously, yet his throat remained dry.
"Prongslet." He finally said.
Tears sprung to Harry's eyes and a huge lump built at the back of his throat.
"Prongslet, I'm sorry," Remus croaked, finally letting go of his bag, "I'm so sorry, God..."
Remus tossed his head back slightly, tears falling from his eyes. He could barely look the younger man in the eye, his guilt was all-consuming and it felt like someone had a hand to his throat.
"I can't even begin to imagine what you had to go through, "Remus pleaded, finally facing his godson once again, "We tried, fuck, we've been trying. Believe me when I say there was not a single day where Sirius and I have not been searching for a way to go back to you."
Harry had never heard Remus curse. That was always Sirius' thing. The man before him, despite obviously having a good enough life looked so haggard and drained, his expression open and begging Harry to understand him.
"I'm sorry we weren't enough Prongslet." Remus stuttered, rising to his feet and he slowly began to inch towards Harry, "I'm sorry we could not protect you."
Harry swallowed and closed his eyes for a moment trying to collect himself. His lips tasted salty from tears.
"And I understand if you cannot forgive us," Remus whispered, "And its fine if you don't want to hear an explanation. I'm not going to force you to forgive us."
Harry without a preamble threw himself at Remus who barely had his arms up quick enough to catch him. Remus found himself breathing heavily as he tightened his arms around the younger man. He could feel something wet seeping into his shirt but he said nothing of it, instead choosing to bury his own tear soaked face into Harry's messy hair.
He had no idea how long they remained curled in each other's embrace. He only knew that at some point they had moved to one of the sofas and remained tightly coiled around each other. It must have been a while though because he could no longer see the weak rays of the sun and the artificial lights in the room were the only thing lighting up their surroundings. The only thing disturbing the silence was the sound of Harry's soft breathing.
And then there was the shrill ringing of his phone.
Remus groaned thoroughly unwilling to get up, but he knew Sirius was probably the one calling and if he did not respond soon, Sirius was going to jump to his own conclusions which was never a good thing. Gently shifting Harry towards the couch so he could get up, Remus reached for his phone. Without looking at the caller ID, he picked the call.
"Moony, where exactly are you?"
And done!
And yes it's short but it felt like the right time to end it. Just so you know, we are about to get into the thick of it. That's right, the angst train is here *laughs evilly* And that means we are more than halfway through and the conclusion is fast approaching. Anyway,
Happy holidays,
Love Alenny13
