Beyond The Distant Star (COMPLETE, Tag-lish, Romance, AE_Topes, TopesStories)

11 - One Heartbeat Away

[Author's Note:

Hi, reader! This is it. You are at the last chapter. Prepare yourself to be overwhelmed with emotions or tears.

Here is the unofficial soundtrack for this chapter:

Song: To Where You Are | Artist: Richard Marx

Check out the Spotify link in the comment.]

***

Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy.

I tried so much to maintain my composure but I couldn't help but tear up, looking at your casket. Ali, there's so much I should have said. There's so much I should have done.

I turn my head over to my family and yours and saw their faces filled with sadness and tears. Why did this happen? Why did it have to be you?

Our friends came to comfort me. I was still in a state of shock when Paul spoke to me.

He placed his hand over my shoulder. "Hey. Alalahanin mo: wala kang kasalanan. It's no one's fault but fate's," he said gently.

I looked at him. "Maybe I wasn't trying hard enough."

"No," he said. "Hindi ka Diyos. What power do you have to change her fate? She had already accepted it. She's already at peace."

Dustin slowly approached us and I saw that they had set up a projector in the chapel.

"Josh, we prepared a short film to honor Ali's memory."

The staff played a montage of video clips showing you when you were still alive and well. In one of the videos, you were fooling around, showing off your dance moves to me and I was taking the video, laughing in the background.

"Look, Josh! Kaya ko rin 'yung moves n'yo!"

"Ha! Ha! Ha! Ang galing, ah."

I wiped a tear while smiling. The film had all the special moments we shared together. It was beautiful.

As the film ended, they called me up to the podium. I cleared my throat as I tried to find the right words to say to honor your legacy:

"You may know her as Alison Carlos — a great writer and artist, but to me, she will always be my "Ali". She was one of the strongest people I've ever known. She was kind, smart, and caring and had only her loved one's best interest in her heart. But underneath all that love, she was a woman who was secretly fighting her own battle, and I respect that a lot. I could never live up to her strength, her resilience, and her being able to maintain her grace despite all the pain she was experiencing. She never blamed anyone for what happened to her. She accepted it wholeheartedly. She was... and still is my everything."

I turn towards your casket and closed my eyes, letting the tears fall, baring my weakness to the people watching as I gave my speech.

"I never in a million years thought I'd say goodbye to you. The thought of losing you never crossed my mind. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that you're no longer with us. And in my mind..."

The tears and the weight in my chest kept me from speaking eloquently but I went on.

"...in my mind, I'm still going to wake up next to you, everyday."

I paused to wipe my face with a handkerchief and I pulled something out of my suit's pocket. It was the letter I found between the pages of your book which you left on our nightstand days before you were hospitalized.