Say My Name | Seongjoong

14

That night, however, Seonghwa couldn't sleep.

When it was time to bid each other goodnight, he smiled at them all, trying his best to hide what was bothering him. It wasn't easy, as always, it took some convincing to get the others to not question him. However, he made it to bed alone, without a million questions about how he was doing and if he was okay. He was lucky enough to not have been caught. Although lying about how he was doing wasn't his favorite thing to do, he had to because he couldn't let them know how he felt right now, especially when he didn't even know himself. So that night, Seonghwa got no sleep at all.

It wasn't unusual for him to not really sleep much, especially on the ship. No matter what, being on land was always much more comforting than being on a rocking boat. Despite the enchantment on the ship, you could still feel it rock every now and then. But now being on land, it was much more comfortable. However, it might have been comfortable and all, but it didn't stop his thoughts from going crazy. It was sort of unrealistic how far his thoughts could go. But he should've seen it coming, from afar, obviously this was bound to happen. The worst part was where his thoughts were going at the moment.

For some reason, all he could think back to was his first day on the ship, the conversation between Mingi and Joong ringing through his ears every now and then. Joong's plan to use him as part of his plan to get revenge on his parents. All this time, he had just been playing part in that plan, he had helped them find an artifact that didn't even belong to his parents. He hadn't done much, but he still played a huge role in the plan that Joong was talking about. And although he had believed that Joong had a change of heart, it was sort of hard to believe sometimes. He knew the rest was against the plan, Mingi very much told him so during the conversation back then.

Seonghwa for many reasons thought back to yesterday's evening, Joong's closeness, the cut sentence, everything about the moment they were in before it was taken away. The whole conversation they had yesterday, how much it was filled with sincerity and innocence. Seonghwa smiled, thinking of how Joong had sort of always been there for him, especially when he wasn't feeling well. The captain had certainly opened up to him more, and it was clear Joong was much more comfortable around him as well. And it might have to do with the fact that Seonghwa wasn't even looking to try and get back to his parents, that he was actively helping Joong in his plan.

However delightful his thoughts were, they soon turned dark and gloomy once again. He tried his best to think about all the positives, all the good things that had happened since he joined the ship. But no matter how much he tried, it was a futile attempt at escaping the dark and sinister thoughts. Getting up from his bed, he put on his shoes and a coat. He thought a little walk outside wouldn't harm anyone, or himself for that matter. They were in a safe area, as far as he knew. So as he quietly made his way down to the front door, he unlocked it and walked outside. The fresh but cool air certainly awakened him.

He remembers the route to the place that he and Joong went, that one time back where they had settled here for a night. So walking that path, he kept his mind busy by staring at the scenery. It was beautiful, colored in the moonlight's embrace of dark and soft blues. It was sort of a shame how the night's beautiful colors were always ignored, but at the same time, they needed sleep. Despite the days passed, the flower field was still as beautiful as last time, and he couldn't help but admire that as well. He loved nature, and back at home they had the most beautiful flower garden, full of different flowers and plants. He sort of missed that sometimes. But this was just as good.

Coming to love what Joong owned and cherished himself, was something new. Seonghwa knew that over time, he should get used to this, and that sometime in the future, he wouldn't have to think about his kingdom or his parents for that matter. He might be the heir to the throne, but no sign of his parents wanting him back made him believe that they didn't even want him to be king in the first place. It wouldn't surprise him if they used immortality to claim what they owned forever. Seonghwa knew they had hold of the very sacred immortality scrolls. But one thing he knew was that they weren't actually theirs, his parents had claimed to fight for them, but he very much doubted it.