Snap Out Of It - Alexia Putellas

I Felt Known

Alana's POV

I'd woken up in Alexia's arms and half of me couldn't quite believe that last night hadn't been a dream, though the other half of me was all too aware of everything that had happened. 
When I was with Alexia, I felt free. Freer than I'd ever been before and it was the most magical feeling to know you're safe with the entire world so close to your fingertips and to know you could reach out to find it. I wasn't trapped anymore, I wasn't a bird in society's cage. I wasn't hiding anymore, I wasn't burying the truth in a room while I made sure to never knock on that door. 

Part of me had felt conflicted last night. A lot of me actually. When Alexia had stood in my doorway, drunkenly confessing her truth, I wondered if she was being honest or it was another of her jokes while someone else filmed from down the hallway. But then I'd looked into her eyes and had gotten to know a girl who lived for the same reasons as I. I thought it would be dangerous to have someone worth loosing but I felt safe here, in Alexia's arms. 

She stirred slightly and I peered up and smiled, I'd always known Alexia was beautiful - whether I let myself acknowledge the fact or not. But as the sunlight poured through the drapes, onto her face, I realized just how perfect she was. 

"Are you staring at me?" She grumbled, her voice husky with her eyes still shut.

I rolled my eyes and chuckled, "Of course you'd think that," I teased; honestly, I had come to love that slight arrogance she had. 

"You still didn't answer my question," Alexia's eyes remained closed, though a smile began creeping up on her face, "and we've promised not to lie, remember?"

"I remember," I groaned.

"So were you?" She finally opened her eyes and they fell straight into mine. 

My heart stopped though a smile was pulled onto my lips, "Maybe..."

Alexia chuckled and pulled me towards her closer than I already lay, "I knew you were."

"How?"

She couldn't hide the glee on her face, "Because I've seen you staring at me everyday for the past three months."

I tightly shut my eyes, wishing that piece of information had never been shared, "You know I could walk out right now?"

"This is your hotel room," she lazily reminded me. 

"That hasn't stopped me before," I warned, threatening to sit up.

"Don't," Alexia groaned, pulling me back into her chest, "Don't go, I'm sorry."

I couldn't help but laugh at her, Alexia was the softest person I knew right now; her smile was sleepy yet bright and her eyes were tired yet still somehow so, very alive. Her hair was lighter than I'd realized and she smelt strongly of vanilla, I hadn't noticed that last night or ever before but it made sense to me. 

I was beyond happy as I lay there. I felt known. I felt listened to. And most importantly, I felt safe. 

I'd have never thought that I'd feel safe in Alexia's arms, I never thought I'd be in Alexia's arms at all, but it seemed life was what happened when you're distracted by your own head. Maybe there'd been clues and signs my entire life leading me to Alexia. Looking back now, it certainly seemed that way. It was so beautiful to believe that a thread of destiny had brought us together, that fate had been watching from the sidelines, showing me sparks of gold until she was finally led to my hotel room last night - until the truth was finally uncovered.
Gabby had been right. I still hated to admit it, but I'd hated Alexia too much for those feelings to be only negative; one couldn't hold that much hatred in their heart. I'd also talked about her far too often, even when the thought of her face lit a fire in my mind - I should've known that one person could never drive me to such anger.