Songs from the heart

i tried something new

Verse1:

I tried something new
look at me
be proud of me
I know it's not much
but I'm just here
trying to be
more than I am
more than I have been
for a while now

I don't know what
but something came all over me
adulthood does not agree with me apparently
and I never dreamed of crashing down so brutally

Chorus1:

and I miss the innocent,
the careless sleepless nights,
the disco black light
but mostly the feeling
that exists only in my mind
when I play it back
I'm an a-list actor when I glorify
what's gone and passed but I
I tried something new
be proud of me

Verse2:

'cause I'm following through
look at me
despite the tears
the crippling fears
attacks and cracks
still fucking here
I'm stronger than that
I keep thinking
while I'm bleeding

now I don't know why
I thought this would fix everything
adulthood did not go easy on me clearly
and I never thought I'd make it here,
so honestly

Chorus2:

I miss the comfortable,
the warm, secluded nights
the window twilights
but I have no place that feels like home
I don't move in and I don't move on
I'm the greatest crook
when I romantasize
whats buried in the ground
but I tried something new

Bridge:

so where's my gold star?
where's my happy ending?
where's the pat in the back
that I'm still not bending?
where's my "good job"
"you're so good at learning"
if I'm not happy now and I wasn't then
what was all the hurting
for?
I'm one foot out the door

Chorus3:

but I'll miss the confidence,
the independence high,
the starless night sky
but mostly the feeling
that I'll paint only in my mind
when I play it back
I'm an a-list actor when I glorify
what's gone and passed but I
I tried something new
and I'm terrified