Zalim Dard

🦋04.🦋

You know, sometimes the help you expect does not reach you on time.

Now that may be because that 'help' wants to stay away from you or wants you to fail or simply for the fun of it.

But sometimes you think for a second if you should change yourself.

Then again for people who are not permanent, who are just breezing their way in and out of your life, that change does not matter.

Because if they want to stay permanent, they would not make you feel the need to change yourself for them.

And now that philosophy shit is confusing me.

I step in the cafeteria and I find all my co-volunteers sitting and chatting, having a gala time when I'm working as a sub for almost entire team.

Fuck them.

"People, where were you all? I was searching for you the whole time and here you all are relaxing!"

I am so frustrated by now but God... The patience that I never have comes forward at wrong times and I wait patiently for them to reply.

Patience.

"Well we all were tired so we decided to take a break. We wanted to call you but saw you licking upto faculties and thought of letting you be there"

Are they for real?

Licking upto faculties?

When did i-

"What are you talking about? You know that I'm the main student incharge for the whole department of ours and that faculties ask me to work which I divide among us, so when was I doing anything like that?"

"You know what Varshi, I Will be frank with you. It feels like you are buttering the faculties trying yo get an into their good books and we feel really pissed that you don't mingle with us when we try as hard as we could"

They are feeling this and not one worm told me?

What the actual fuck?

"Okay, we need to clear this right now. I'll tell you what Pranav, I'm a type of person who does not talk or open up to anyone after just 2-3 months of knowing them. I just can't do that no matter what. Don't you think I tried talking with you all but it was just difficult"

The whole group was staring at me and that was irritating me.

"Guys don't stare at me. I'm telling you all the kind of person I am even though it's not needed because it seems that you all have already decided to isolate me from your group and that's okay but I expected you all to at the very least to talk to me. And I don't just understand you people reaching to conclusion of me buttering the faculties, as if any info that I gathered was only for me and I never shared it with you. But don't you all worry the next time I get any information as it is direct result of me licking to the teachers it won't be reaching you. So please atleast do your fucking work and answer to me asap after lunch on progress of you work"

All of their faces seemed to go through varied emotions, guilt, anger, confusion, astonishment, plead, and what not.

I just walk away from them, take my meal and sit by the further corner of the cafeteria by the window.

I don't even know when I did all that.

Its me doing it..?

Nah, it's all their head.

Dumb fucks!

Feels like I have only idiots around me all the time in college.

But he would not think that-

What am I even thinking? And why about him? It's frustrating to not my own thinking properly.

I don't know how some other person, the psychiatrists know you better in those sessions than the person themselves.

What is the point of it?

If you being your own person cannot understand yourself then why pay others to understand you.

What you think is seeded in you, what will an outsider know?

Using their scientific knowledge they will just scale your emotions but what in actuality is your thought?

If not you then who will know them?

Now I'm overthinking it.

Leave Varshi, leave.

Forget about it!

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"Ma, my head is aching so bad. Please let me sleep now"

"It's almost six now. You know it's not good omen to sleep at this time. Go have your coffee to reduce your headache"

See, at wrong times ma remembers all the omens.

Grudgingly, I freshen up with a hammering headache and go to kitchen to make my coffee just witness papa back hugging a very red ma.

They make me feel so single right now.

But they are my ideal couple. I know for every kid it's their parents that are power couple but this?

These people in front of me are just so good, so into each other always.

Like Pani with puri, like idling with chutney, like Dal with Chahal, like puri with chana.

Oh God I'm not only having headache but hungry also.

But these comparison is justified atleast.

"Ma, papa there is something called a bedroom for all this. You can continue if you are okay with your daughter seeing you or can go to your four corner-wala LA LA land"

"Baccha, see I'm okay with it but not your ma. So I'll be taking this session to our room okay?"

"What are saying? Is this how you talk to your daughter?"

Ma is glaring at papa but I  can see her flushed face.

May this couple have a longer life together.

I silently go and make my coffee when my parents go to their room after a staring contest.

Only if I get a future like that, only if I would have what my parents have now.

But for that I don't even have a guy friends forget about future.

Friends.

That word meant so much to me once, only if he wouldn't have done that.

He meant everything to me.

I shared my whole life story with him.

Only he knew how to calm me down, only he knew when I was angry without me saying it out loud.

Everything it was only us two against the world.

Everything I think about it, it feels like I did something wrong.

But me eyes can't lie to me now, or can it?

°°°°°°°°°°

Hello butterflies 🦋,

Whoever was waiting for further story, sorry I updated late.🫣

Mid-terms were going on and after 20 days we have our sem exams so updates won't be frequent.🥹

I hope you understand.

Next up it's going to be a bumpy ride, do hang on tight.🎢

Let's just say that our main leads may or may not meet.🙂

What do you think will happen if they do meet?🤔

Please vote and comment 😊