6. La-Di-Di-La-Di-Da (oh yeah)

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On a cool breezy Halloween evening, a group of teens are doing what they call fun; egg throwing. Whether aiming at people or at vehicles, they did not care if they hit or miss. One of the teens, uncle approaches the group and he talks to his nephew and buddies, "Craig, guys! (The teens greeting back) I see y'all out here on this nice Halloween day creating mischief like egg throwing and I tell y'all what, let's say we take the rest of those eggs, go home and put them in da fridge where they belong, so you can have them for breakfast." One of Craig's friends, Rashawn comments, "Your uncle is really funny C-R! Listen here Uncle Bob, I know your old school and all; and I bet back in the days when you were our age, you and your homies used to be out here throwing eggs." Laughing while shaking his head from side to side along while rubbing his chin, "You're absolutely right, my crew and I used to be out here throwing eggs at people and cars back in the days when we were your age, which was foolish and dumb along with stealing candy and being rowdy. I don't want to sound off like a hypocrite, yea we had so much fun back then and we didn't care about the consequences from our parents or five-O. That was until one of my boys paid the price with his life. Let me show y'all what I'm talking about (still on the corner, Bob is showing a renovated three-story building). That second building from the corner, the three-floor house; that is where one of my homeboys died, his name was Claude and his dead body was found in the backyard of that building. Also, that is where this strange tall man with a beard name McDermott used to live also on the top floor alone, sort of like a hermit. He is always singing this silly ditty while walking up and down the street, 'La-di-di-la-di-da- oh yeah!' He was always in a happy mood with his gentlemanly bass tone and earlier on that Halloween day on the night Claude was killed; me, Claude and two others, Walt and Cliff were on this same corner throwing eggs at people, cars and buses, having fun and joshing around. We saw Mister McDermott approaching the corner walking in the opposite direction singing his la-di-da song. Claude hits McDermott directly on the back of his head with an egg. McDermott felt the back of his head looking at the broken shell and yolk on his hand and he approached us asking, 'Which one of you hit me in the back of my head with an egg and why did you do it?' Claude being his bold self replies 'KISS MY ASS, YOU FREAK!' To his face before hitting him directly in his face with another egg, with the rest of us joining him and pounding McDermott with eggs. I kind of felt sorry for him, he was looking down while walking away from the onslaught with the rest of my friends jumping up and down laughing at him and calling him names. I bet by today's standard, what happened to McDermott, would have gone viral on the internet. The following morning, old man Mister Parker, who'd live on the first floor in that same building was in the backyard raking leaves when he saw a stiff Claude, with his face lying up, with his mouth bleeding and eyes wide open. Old man Parker called the police; they showed up along with a meat wagon, meaning morgue truck. The cops rule Claude's death either a homicide or a suicide, his family was notified and was told what had happened to Claude, while at the same time they were wondering about his whereabouts, as to why he hasn't come home way past his curfew. One of his brothers blamed it on gang members, we used to have two rival gangs in this area, the Busters and the Black Hawks. Two homicide detectives were questioning anyone, even I was questioned, we told them we left Claude here alone, while we went home and ate. I would have hung out with Claude, but I had to run home, used the bathroom really badly, plus I was really hungry. When we returned and found Claude was gone, we all figured he went home and ate. We stood around for a little while and went in. That's exactly what we told the detectives and Claude's family." Craig says, "Wow Uncle Bob, that story is amazing." "This is no tall tale guys, this is true," Bob continuing, "The detectives questioned old man Parker, he grumpily replied, "Around here everything is always unusual especially around this time of year with the usual Halloween racket and then you have all types of fools waltzing in and out this building like this is Grand Central Station, drinking, getting high, having sex and using these hallways as a public restroom, which I have to bleach mop the front of my door every day and I have to constantly tell that money-grabbing, cheap ass slumlord to fix the damn lock, it's always yada-yada, promises and bullshit, pardon my language detectives!" And one of them replied, "That's alright sir we accustom! Would you please tell us if you heard any strange noises that sound out of the ordinary, please?" "Ah refreshing the old noggin' I heard some voices, with somebody sounding afraid asking where you're taking me and another voice chanting some la-di-da crap, wait a minute, the only fool I knows who sings that piece of garbage is that got-damn freak of nature who lives on the top floor name McDermott.' The detectives questioned McDermott, he cooperated and they found no evidence against him. Weeks later, McDermott decided to move, because I believe he was receiving bad vibes because everyone including me believed he done it and to this day Claude death remains a cold case." Rashawn replies, "In other words, no one knows whether or not your boy was murdered or he off himself." Bob tells him, "Nobody knows, not even I and ever since then, there would be rumors around Halloween that McDermott would return to the neighborhood in his sky-blue Pontiac and if he sees anyone throwing or thinking about it, he would grab 'em, knock 'em out, throw 'em in the back seat or trunk of his car and take 'em somewhere mysterious, never to be seen ever again and if they returned, if they were lucky, they return so traumatized to talk about their ordeal. As for McDermott, I heard he is still alive, driving around in that same sky-blue Pontiac, so beware, be very aware of McDermott, if he catches anyone throwing eggs, he is going to get ya, he-he-he (maniacal laugh). Well guys, I ought to be on my way, take care, be careful and stay out of trouble, a la-di-di-la-di-da oh yeah!' Craig and his crew watching Bob walk away whistling, with concerns about McDermott. "Yo, what the hell, son," says Rashawn telling the others, "You think we going to let that story Craig uncle told us stop us from what we been doing, yea and who is McDermott. Come out, come out from wherever you are your old ass la-di-da-di singing motherfucker. I will mess you up with these eggs old man!" The others laughing with Rashawn until two squad cars approach the corner from different directions with lights flashing, a brief siren and an officer is ordering them, "WHOOP! Get off this corner and go home, don't let me have to repeat myself!" The Police officer is talking to them through the car speaker which the teens are obliging going home.

Rashawn is at home and he asks his mom about McDermott and he ask if he ever existed, she looks at him with suspicious ordering him to stay out of trouble along while counting the eggs in her refrigerator. Earlier he asked this older dude about McDermott, he also heard stories just like Craig's uncle Bob said about some guys being abducted by McDermott for throwing eggs, McDermott would take that kid somewhere and the kid returned home not the same. Thinking about it, Rashawn remember about some kid catching a vicious beat down by a pack of egg throwers he was hanging with because he playfully sang the "la-di-da" ditty causing a panic, Rashawn was about 8 years old when it happened and he was in elementary school.

The following day Rashawn, Craig and a couple of guys their age is hanging outside this corner grocery store talking 'til they see a sky-blue Pontiac pulling up in front parking and the driver exiting is this big man with a grey beard going to the store with their eyes planted on the man, imagining he is a beast and the man notice the teens greeting them in his gentlemanly bass tone, "Afternoon young gents"! While he is entering the store singing, "La-di-di-la-di-da oh yeah..." The teens take one last quick glance at the tall man and left in a hurry running down the block screaming loud. Two uniform police officers driving in their squad car in the opposite direction notice the boys running, one officer quickly park the vehicle, while his partner a police sergeant exits from the passenger side with the driver exiting also, the Sarge ask, "Whoa fellas, what's going on here?" His partner adds, "Yea, you guys look like you have seen a ghost." Craig explains, "Is McDermott! We, we, we saw him entering the grocery store." The Sarge and the officer eye the other laughing. The boys wondering what is so funny with Craig asking and the Sarge explains to them, "All that jazz about McDermott grabbing a bunch of egg throwers is nothing but some urban myth someone must have told y'all, I know because I grew up in this neighborhood. As for the egg throwers, we used to set up an operation where we nab some kid we caught or about to throw eggs at people and property and take them somewhere and frighten them. We were forced to cease operation before some community leader bust our balls with some rights violation, harassment and intimidation. As for Claude getting killed, yeah, he was killed by accident and it was done by some gang member Claude was beefing with. Yeah, Claude Hines was a punk with a lot of mouth. What happened according to the dude he had beef with, is that he approached the corner Claude was alone standing. They eye each other with Claude talking smack to him and the gang know Claude was no match and wanted to walk away, since he and his crew were on their way to a Halloween party and Claude kept talking trash to them with an egg in his hand ready to throw and the same gang member dares him. He and the gang member along with two others went to the three-story building where McDermott used to live to the rooftop from what the gang member told me, where he forces Claude to go with him just to settle their beef. According to the gang member who is now today an ordained minister confessing about the rooftop showdown between him and Claude, Claude accidentally fell off the rooftop which also an autopsy was shown." The second officer adds, "As for Mister McDermott, the man is completely innocent, so please leave the man alone." The boys and cops talk some more and the boys walk up the block chanting McDermott's "...La-di-di-la-di-da. Oh yeah!"


THE END

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