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Fit: We need a distraction.
Pac: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises.
Tubbo, whispering: My time has come.
Fit: HELP! I TOLD PAC I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!
Tubbo pouring milk directly into the cereal box: And you thought I could help?
Tubbo: In my defense I was left unsupervised.
Fit: Wasn't Pac with you?
Pac: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.
Pac: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.
Tubbo: The cow???
Pac: What?
Fit: Tubbo, W H Y?
Fit trying to ask Pac out: Would like to stay for dinner?
Tubbo: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?
Fit: I trust Tubbo.
Pac: You think he knows what he's doing?
Fit: I wouldn't go that far.
Fit: Pac and I don't use pet names.
Tubbo: I see. What does bee make!
Fit: Honey?
Pac: Yes dear?
Tubbo: Don't ever lie to my face again.
Pac: Let me show you a picture from last night that upsets me.
Tubbo: Okay, but in my defense, Fit bet me 50 bucks that I couldn't drink all the shampoo.
Pac: That's not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!
Tubbo texting Fit: Fit! Help I'm being kidnapped!
Fit: Where are you?
Tubbo: With some strange person! In a car! Help!
Fit: I will call Pac.
Pac, answering their phone: Hello?
Fit: Where's Tubbo? He texted me that he's being kidnapped.
Pac: Tubbo? What do you mean, he's right next to me-
Pac: ...
Pac: I will call you back. 'Hangs up'
Pac: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD!
Tubbo: WHO ARE YOU?!
Pac: Hey Fit.
Fit: Yea?
Pac: Can someone breathe inside a washing machine while is on?
Fit: ...
Fit: Where is Tubbo?
Pac: What's a word that's a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?
Fit: Disgruntled, miserable, disolated-
Tubbo: Smad.
Fit: Pac and I are adopting a baby.
Tubbo: That's gre-
Pac, slamming the adoption papers into the table: It's you, sign here.
Tubbo: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE! I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND! I AM ANGRY-
Pac: Awwwwww, you're so adorable! Give me a hug~
Tubbo: Wh- What? No, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH-
Fit, recording: This is so cute.
Fit: Pac, keep an eye on Tubbo today. He's going to say the wrong thing to the wrong person and get punched.
Pac: Sure, I'd love to see Tubbo get punched.
Fit: Try again.
Pac, signhing: I will stop Tubbo from getting punched.
*The group is having dinner together*
Pac: Fit, can you pass the salt.
Fit: *Throws Tubbo across the table*
Fit: What do you think Tubbo will do for a distraction?
Pac: He's probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.
*Building explodes and several cars alarms go off*
Pac: ... or he could do that.
Pac: I'm kinda crushing on someone, but I'm worried about telling you who is it, because you're not going to like it.
Tubbo: Just rip the band-aid off.
Pac: It's Fit.
Tubbo: Put the band-aid back on.
Pac: Are you sure this is the right direction?
Tubbo: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!
Fit: In that case we're definitely lost.
Pac: How's the sexiest person here~?
Fit: I don't know how are they~?
Pac, flustered: I-
Tubbo, across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!
Tubbo: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?
Fit: How am I supposed to know?
Pac: You say as if we don't use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.
Fit: *sighs*
Fit: You wouldn't be trapped.
*The morning crew is talking about what it'd be like to open up a homemade Pokemone gym*
Fit, joking: Tubbo's just sitting at the end, juggling- fushigi-ing 2 glass balls, in super tight pants, just waiting for his kid delivery once he best his minions.
Tubbo: Well they would be Pokeballs. And also it's not a kid delivery. There's no fucking guarantee that the kid that comes into the beginning of my crucible makes it to the end of it undefeated.
Tubbo: In fact, I'm gonna stack this gym! With fucking pros!
Tubbo: It's- It's going to be brutal. It's going to be a torture gym!
Pac: Well- well what's the theme? Are you like- is it a bug theme, or like-
Tubbo: YEAH, PAC. UH- UH- UH- UH YEAH PAC. I'M GOING TO OPEN UP A BUG TYPE POKEMON GYM. YOU IDIOT.
Tubbo: YEA THAT'S WHAT I WANT, BECAUSE I WANNA GIVE- I WANNA SHIT OUT BADGES FOR EVERY HAM AND EGGER THAT COMES TO MY FRONT DOOR.
Fit: *Cracking up*
Tubbo: YEA PAC. 'Uhh go Caterpie! UwU' That's me, you FUCKING imbecile. 'Yeah go- uhhhh d- do your best, Kakuna!'
Tubbo: WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING TALKING ABOU- Yeah a ~bug type~ gym.
Pac: ...
Fit: Okaaaaay
Pac: Alright, um, I'm going to go. I've embarrassed myself...
Fit: Maybe fire? Fire type?
Pac: Yeah fire-based? Like- have fires?
Tubbo: Yeah, yeah I'll probably just- That's a good idea Fit, I'll probably just do a fire one... SO THAT ONE KID WITH ONE BLASTOISE CAN FUCK UP MY WHOLE SHOP!
Tubbo: KILLED ALL OF US WITH ONE BLASTOISE, HUH? WOW. SHIT I SHOULD'VE-
Pac: Just do rock, then! Just do a rock type!
Tubbo, voice dripping with contempt: The same Blastoise...
Pac: Can you guys stop fighting?
Pac: It's annoying.
Tubbo: We're not fighting, we're having a creative discussion.
Fit: We're fighting.
Tubbo: Creative discussion.
Fit: Fighting.
Pac: Are they really having a fight about whether or not they are fighting.
Fit: I hope you all have a good explanation for this.
Tubbo: We have three (3) actually.
Pac: Pick your favorite.
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Word count 985
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Morning crew oneshots (Qsmp)
FanfictionRandom qsmp morning crew oneshots bc I love them. :) The drawing is made by my friend who knows nothing about Qsmp. You can find them on pinterest as Tokito (bucurgiuliasara). They are a great artist.
