No Rules Here

Chapter Seven

"I don't like this one bit" Eleanor sighed as she buttoned her daughter's coat in the living room.
"Detective Conan is meeting us there. I'll have Jack, Sarah, Mike and Lilly with me. I'll be fine" she assured her.
"That house has a lot of bad memories"
"I know. That's why I'm going" Eleanor took Adeline's face in her hands.
"You are so brave"
"We have to go mom" Eleanor released her, giving her a small smile, she followed them outside and watched as they drove off.
The car was silent other than the small sounds coming from the radio and the sounds of the road beneath the tires.
Jack's hand left the steering wheel and moved on top of hers.
"You okay?"
"Hmm" she nodded.
"You can change your mind, no judgement"
"I'm not changing my mind, Jack"
"Ok then" he nodded, squeezing her hand lightly before it moved back to the wheel. The three officers squashed in the back shared a look.

Jack pulled up outside the abandoned house. To Adeline it looked the same as it had done more than twenty years ago. She saw past the broken drains and the peeling paint. To her, this was the house she had always remembered so vividly from her childhood.
"Ready?" Jack asked.
"Ready" she nodded. All five of them climbed out of the car and waited for Adeline to go inside. But there she stood, just outside the gate, staring up at the house. She took a deep breath before she pushed open the gate, when it didn't budge she lifted it and pulled it to the side. She moved up the garden path before she pushed open the old door with cracking paint and broken glass, she entered the house. Adeline moved through the house, going room by room with Jack and the others following right behind her. Finally Adeline moved to the staircase, pausing at the bottom.
"You've already done so much, you can come back, do this another time" he suggested.
"No" she shook her head "It's now. I'm doing this today" she told him sternly before she started walking. Up and up until she reached the top, then she froze again, her bedroom door so close.
"It's that one" she announced "My bedroom" she pointed towards the door, her heart beginning to leap in her chest, trying to break free.
"We're here Addie. Every step of the way" he assured her. She nodded silently before she released a loud breath. Courage. Ten crazy seconds of courage was all she needed. And she took her ten seconds to cross the floor and push open the door to her childhood bedroom and step inside.
The pink walls were the same, only faded. The posters too. The mattress was bare and missing a spot where the police had cut out the hidden stain left behind by her father. The clothes were still in the hamper, her socks on the ground beside it. Her teddy bear shelf was covered in dust. Everything was how she had left it. Everything was the same, much like in her mind, part of her would always be that little girl looking to please, looking for love.
It all came rushing back to her. Her lost childhood. 
The creak of her door opening. His grunts. The random t-shirt that he cleaned them both up with, being tossed into the laundry basket. My little princess. 

Adeline let out a shaky breath, letting it echo throughout the room. The room where she lost her childhood to the man that she called dad.
She didn't know when tears had started forming in her eyes, she only noticed when they clouded over, obscuring her view of the room. She wiped them away with the sleeve of her coat before she took a step inside. 
It was like she was that twelve year old little girl again. Lost and alone. Wanting answers for something there would never be a reason for. Her father raped her, for three years. Her mother didn't know. Her sister hates her. She is broken, she has been for a long time. 
Adeline didn't remember taking more steps into the room, the only thing she remembered was her hand touching the edge of the mattress. Her hand moved over the hole, the same spot where his body met hers all those years ago. 
Muffled screams. Kicking. Biting at the large hand that covered her mouth.
Adeline moved to lie on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Her heart pounded in her chest as her eyes rolled shut. She let out another deep, but shaky sigh. 
Adeline lay in bed, the covers pulled up high. She was waiting, just like every night since she turned twelve. Then the door creaked open. It was a quiet creak, one that her mother wouldn't hear in her sleepy state behind the closed door of her bedroom. He shut the door behind him, he never forgot to do that, then he stood at the end of her bed, watching. He sighs deeply before he rounds the bed, making her watch as he unbuttons his belt and drops his trousers to the floor. He pulled back the covers and climbed over her, covering her small body with his big one before he pulled her covers over them. His hand skated up her leg, along her thigh, pushing her nightie higher and higher as he went. 
"Please don't" she begged, her thirteen year old voice making her sound younger than she was. He just smiled down at her, his hand going to her cheek, a gesture so simple any father might do it to his daughter. Except, her father was lying on top of her. 
"It'll be nice if you don't fight. My little princess is being such a strong woman" his hand sealed itself around her mouth before his other hand helped him push himself inside of her. She sobbed against his hand, through wave after wave of pain until he collapsed on top of her. His weight pinning her beneath him on the bed. Then he was gone. Picking up a t-shirt she had threw on the ground earlier, he wiped himself before he cleaned her up. He threw the shirt into the laundry basket before he pulled his pants back on. He pulled the covers up over her and placed a small kiss on her forehead. 
"Sleep tight, Princess" he muttered before he left the room, just as slightly as he entered it.

Adeline's eyes fluttered open, her tears now freely falling, leaking down the sides of her face, soaking the bed beneath her. Old tears mixed with new.
"You're going to want to take the laundry basket and black light the rest of the room" she cleared her throat, sitting up she saw Jack in the doorway but, his silhouette didn't bring her fear, only strength.
"How do you feel?" Jack asked, his kind eyes meeting hers.
"Broken" she admitted with a sad smile "But a little more like me, and that is utterly terrifying" she laughed lightly, wiping away some more of her tears.
"What make it so scary?"
"Learning who I am all over again, not liking who I really am"
"And who are you?"
"Adeline Thompson. Detective Superintendent of the Manchester police. A woman who was hurt as a little girl, a woman who is now a mother to two little girls herself"
"And?" she gave him a quizzical look "You're so much more than just that, Addie. You are strong, and brave, so god damn fearless"
"I'm not Jack. I'm scared. Scared of him, of what he could do to me, to you. I'm so scared"
"But you keep fighting, and that is what makes you fearless. Fighting despite the fear"
"I disagree with you" he smiled.
"You always do" Adeline got up from the bed grabbing something that Jack couldn't see out of the bedside drawer before she left the room.