Chapter Seventy One

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'Thinking of you is a poison I drink often'

-unknown

Xavier's Pov

You know that feeling that you get when your heart breaks, when a rush of panic overcomes you, and in that one moment, nothing else matters apart from making sure the one person that means the world to you is okay?

That's what I felt right now.

My heart pounded. Everything around me drowned out as I focused on what I was trying to do,who I was trying to find.

And then you know the other feeling you get when that rush of panic is over,the adrenaline of the situation gone,but your lefy with the feeling of hopelessness of knowing it was your fault that the person you were trying to protect,was long gone.

"She gone, "I whispered to myself as I collapsed to the floor,and I screamed out in the forest,cursing my brother and what he had taken from me once again.

It's amazing how quickly things can go from good to bad in a matter of seconds...

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I sat in my office,grazing my fingers over the picture of Mirabella. I had not only let her down,but I had let Lily down to.

She had trusted me to protect her. I had promised her that  I would always protect her,but all i had done was fail her.

There was a knock at my office door, and I didn't answer ad Thomas walked into my office,papers in his hand.

I was then yet again reminded that he had lost his mate, too. I guess that's another person I could add to my lidt of people that  I had failed.

"Alpha,we have news of the northern packs seeing Xander travelling down south. We think he might have -"Thomas started, but I cut him off.

"Thomas,what's the point. Lily's gone,Elisa's gone. They're both gone,Thomas! He has taken her again,just like last time! What's the point of even trying when we know what happened last time is just going to happen again! I'm done,ThkmS,"I said, throwing my head back, slamming the picture of Mirabella back down on my desk.

Thomas snarled and slammed his hand down on my desk, and I saw his wolf surfacing.

"You may have given up,but I haven't! My mate is pregnant,Xavier. How do you think I feel?! I could not only lose my mate, but my baby too! I understood why you are acting this way. You're scared it's going to happen all over again, but sitting here and doing nothing is not going to bring Lily back! It's not going to bring Mirabella back either,Xavier!"My beta yelled at me.

"You might think sitting on your ass is going to bring them back,but it's not. You may have lost all hope,but at least I am trying. Come and find me when you've sorted yourself out!"he said and slammed the door of my office shut on his way out of my office.

I would have never let anyone,especially my beta talk, so disrespectfully to me,but as I sat thinking over Thomas's words, I found the truth in them.

He was right.

I was being selfish. Thomas had also lost his mate and would be even more worried because Elisa was pregnant, but he was still trying to find where my brother would have taken her, and Lily.

I needed to do the same thing.

I picked up the picture of my first mate,kissing the picture as if to make a promise.

I had failed Mirabella once, and I wasn't going to do the same thing with Lily.

I was going to find Lily,no matter the cost,and when I found my brother, he would suffer greatly.

I will not be merciless this time...

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