𝐃𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞

Protection

-excuse any mistakes.

Divine
"Yeah ma." I answered putting hotsauce in my hotfries bag. If you're from Compton, you know what I'm talkin' about.

"And why come I haven't seen you lately?" Her raspy voice asked sternly over the phone.

"I've been busy ma, with school and work." I replied back.

The truth is, I'm enjoying this independence thing I have going on. All these years my mom has always been down my back until middle school.

Middle school, my mom disappeared leaving me with a family member that molested me and my loving grandmother anytime she got a way to me.

No one knows about the molestation, but I wish my mom atleast tried to read in between the lines of how I felt around my molester.

"Well I hope you don't think you too good to come back to Compton. You tell your story to those black and brown kids and how you rose from a dark place of violence." She stated coughing.

My mother wasn't all bad as she had her own way of showing me love. It's just her firm exterior always makes it hard for me to express myself.

Nothing ever pleased her.

"Yes mam." I mumbled eating my hotfries.

"Mhm." She said. "Well, love you. I'll see you soon." She added coughing again.

I rolled my eyes knowing she was smoking that good shit.

"Love you too, see you." I said ending the call.

I sat on my couch as How High played in the background.

Jayden's kindness didn't last as I ended up catching feelings and he wasn't ready for all that as he was stuck on his ex fling.

I've decided to focus on myself, but I find it hard to do that as my social status is starting to rise.

Me and Rashaad's business spreaded like wild fire. I wasn't surprised though.

I can take accountability knowing it was my fault for conviding in others about it as I never really was interested or interacted with boys like him.

I needed to know what to do.. I didn't know how to not feel what I feel for him.

Everyone around gravitated towards me as my title to some became "Rashaad's school girlfriend."

I'm embarrassed honestly. I'm not settling for that title, but the little things he do like watch over me, pop up in odd places, and look me in my eyes.. it makes me think he feels what I feel.. atleast somewhere.

In that cold heart I thought was warm and vibrant once upon a time.

I started smoking alot more than usual. I smoke usually a blunt before school, but today I decided to smoke two.

People pleasing became like a routine, people we're finally starting to see me.

I've waited so long for a moment for people to see me, I didn't want to disappoint them.