𝐃𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞

Got Me Hooked

Divine

  -excuse any mistakes.

The bell rang as I thought heavily in my seat. This pressure weighing on my heart I can no longer keep hidden.

There was no doubt in my mind that I'm in love with Rashaad. I don't understand why, but trying to figure it out only pisses me off.

I grow so afraid as I try to speak my emotions to him because I don't know where to start.

The other night at the party really had me thinking. Over thinking or being exactly on point with what I was thinking about.

The door opened as Rashaad's jacket made rustling noises. First semester was coming to an end and it's breaking my heart.

No one has said anything about how they feel and I just wish that he would say something. I know he has to feel the same.

This can't just be something that he can brush off I just know it isn't.

Since he came in late which was typical, he had to sit with any one who was available to be a partner.

I became partners with who sat behind me and Rashaad everyday, witnessing our love grow stronger and stronger.

"And I'm all like I know he didn't get his home boy to come back here and talk to me." I said.

Forgetting he had just entered the room in an instant due to my anger taking over, that sense of awkwardness came back causing me to take several seats.

I sat still speaking up again. "Change the subject." I said confidently.

We finished our work as we had to get on these new technologies called computers.

I sat up and got to work side eying everybody go back to their original seats.

Hoping Rashaad will come back over, I turned my back to where he would be sitting if he was next to me.

After a few minutes I heard his jacket rustling signaling that he was near.

I sat up and looked over at him ready to confront him about the party.

But no words came. Just a feeling of fear.

My stress was making my heart ache how much I had to get off my chest. 

I stressed getting another question wrong on this damn thing.

Rashaad chuckled before looking over at me.

"It's the green one." He said showing his perfect white teeth.

I rolled my eyes clicking the green object.

"Incorrect."

I huffed in frustration.  "What was up at the party?" I asked.

"You looked like you didn't want to be bothered." He confessed.

I could sense the bull from a mile away.

"Yeah, that shit pissed me off." I stated referring to him and that pretty broad he was macking with before he spoke to me.

He didn't say anything causing me to grow more frustrated.

"It's that one." He pointed to the red object.

I hesitated to even click it.

"Why don't you trust me?" He asked observing me struggling to click the red one.

I blushed at the thought of him even asking me something like that, whether it meant he felt the same or the computer.

"Because you-" I said.

I couldn't finish my sentence because yall I swear he was about to get it all.

He chuckled again showing his perfect set. I observed his teeth as I spotted a gold gem. So sexy.

I can't be mad at him if I tried, how the hell does he do that?

After School

I'm Real by Jennifer Lopez ft. Ja Rule blasted in my earplugs as I blushed all the way to my car.

First hour is all I have with Rashaad and I just wish I had longer.

I took my plugs out sighing realizing his little game to make me forget about the messed up things he do to me because the feeling I have for him.

Whatever he does how he does it, it works.

Until I realize I couldn't even speak on what I really wanted to speak on.

I sighed in frustration starting my car, he got me again. Next time I won't let him do that.

I started Fallin' by Alicia Keys driving all the way home.

I have to tell him how I feel

Or this will only get worse...