everything about you •• jj maybank

sixteen

The trek back home was long and tiresome. The North Carolina heat was almost unbearable this time of year. I had tucked my shirt in my bra to try and cool myself off, as I glistened head-to-toe from sweat. Tears stained my cheeks as I walked through The Cut and I slowly began to feel my shoulders become sunburnt, the farther I got on my journey home.

I felt like a zombie. I was exhausted from the heat and from crying. I tried my best to hold back my tears, but JJ had cut deep with his words. I was confused and hurt, not understanding why he could be so cruel.

He tried taking it back too. That made it worse. That was the confusing part. Why was it so easy for him to say those things to me, yet, he felt enough regret in his heart, to try taking it back and beg me to stay?

I couldn't understand him, and for some reason, I wanted to. So badly. I craved the satisfaction of being able to know the in's and out's of JJ Maybank's brain. I wanted to be able to know why he was the way he was. But he could never let me in enough for me to find out.

When I finally had arrived back home, my goal was to make it to my bedroom as quick as possible, without running into anyone. I wanted to be alone. Forever.

As I approached the back of my house, I could hear the bass of music pounding inside of my chest, and knew immediately it was Topper and his friends working out. My initial hope was that I would take the back staircase up to my bedroom, hoping to maybe eavesdrop on Topper's conversation.

As I got closer to the house, I was able to spot Rafe and Kelce working out with him. I tried to stay out of their eyesight, hoping they wouldn't stop and talk to me.

"My mom thinks that I did it... even though there's no way I could've," I hear Topper complaining, and my ears perk up as I slowly approach the stairs, my footsteps quiet as I tiptoe up hide so they can't see me. "I mean, how? It's always my fault, no matter what. She wants me to just be this little robot, that checks her boxes."

I couldn't argue with Topper there. Our mom was really hard on us, always putting so much pressure on us to be the "perfect" children. Whatever that meant to her. We had to fit in with the rest of them, to keep her status; to keep her reputation. It felt like she cared more about that than she did us, sometimes. If we weren't to her standard, she wasn't slow to voice her disappointment. It was exhausting to be her child at times.

"Well, we know who did it, right?" Rafe speaks up, his voice is strained as he speaks and immediately my brows crinkle together.

I thought he was just bluffing.

"It was that little geek Pope," Kelce adds, making my hand go straight to my mouth in shock.

Pope?

Pope had sunken our boat? Pope Heyward, the guy who always keeps the signal clear, who's always trying to convince JJ - to convince all of us - to do the right thing. Pope, the nervous wreck who was always worried about getting caught. Pope wasn't keen to doing reckless things like that.

I crouched down on the stairs and began to crawl forward, hoping that if I got closer, I would be able to hear their story better. A part of me wanted to believe that I had just heard them wrong.

"Pope... yeah. Rafe, if you wouldn't have jumped him on the golf course, I'd still have a boat, right?"

In seconds, I felt my body heat up in rage, and a vein began to pulse in my neck. My heartrate had skyrocketed in a moment, I sprung up, forcing myself to stay put. I gripped the railing of the stairs and held my breath as they continued to speak.

"Sorry if I, uh... had your back after some Pogue put a- put a gun to your head."

I stomped down the stairs and watched as the three of them turned their attention to me. Topper immediately cursed under his breath when he saw me coming their way. Rafe's eyes had widened for a moment, and Kelce had a tight-lipped smile on his face, glancing between the two boys.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I shouted, pushing Topper out of the way and pointing my finger in Rafe's face. I watched him laugh and he took a few steps backward, running a hand through his hair. I felt Topper grab my arm and pull me away from Rafe, stepping in between us and pushing me away.

"Josie, chill out, okay?"

My nostrils were flared as I sent dirty glares to the three boys. When I looked at Rafe, all I could see was red. I began to sweat and felt myself heaving as I stood there, shaking in anger. Rafe's gaze was strong, oozing confidence and arrogance.

"You can't just go around jumping people whenever you feel like it, you know!" I barked, smacking Topper's hand away as he tried holding me back from Rafe. "That's my friend we are taking about. Pope didn't do anything to you."

Rafe looked to Kelce and laughed again, igniting a fire within me. I grinded my teeth together as I listened to him speak. "You know, Josie, I find it really funny how you keep forgetting the fact that your 'friend' put a gun to your brother's head."

I ran my head through my hair in frustration, tugging at the ends as I fumed at them.

"It wasn't Pope," I snarled, digging my fingernails into my palms. "It wasn't Pope that put a gun to Topper's big-ass head, and it wasn't Pope that sunk the boat!"

The three boys laughed in my face, completely disregarding everything that had just came out of my mouth. I kissed my teeth at the three boys, digging my eye's into Topper's head as I smacked his side.

"You know Topper, I think I've been so disappointed by you recently, that it is actually, physically impossible for me to feel bad for you about this boat. For all I care, mom can put the blame on you all she wants," I shrugged, making him roll his eyes and scoff. I then turned to Rafe who was still chuckling with Kelce, and took a few steps forward, pushing my chest against his as he stared down at me.

"And Rafe, I wish I could say that I'm surprised you would do something like this, but honestly, I'm not."

His smile immediately fell, eye contact faltering as he glanced everywhere but at me. I knew that my words had bothered him. After all, Rafe had a soft spot for me. I knew that. Everybody knew that. I figured I might as well use that to my advantage and hit him where it hurts.

"And Kelce," I started, turning towards him and pressing my hand to my hip. He didn't hesitate to wipe the grin off of his face as my green eyes pierced his. "To be blunt, I just don't like you."

With that, I gave them all one last dirty look before turning around and sauntering away. I made sure to slam my bedroom door once I had gotten up there, knowing that they'd be able to hear it.

I walked around my room, my hands on my head as I paced back and forth, processing the day that I had had so far.

And it was only noon.

Knowing what I knew now, I was able to put all the pieces together. Now that I knew that Rafe and Topper had jumped Pope, I understood why he had been so weird to me earlier that day. It was probably a part of the reason why JJ had been so hostile towards me.

In that moment, I hated myself for that. I couldn't help that I was related to Topper, but I could help that I had been naive enough to call Rafe a friend. How could I have been so blind to the person that he was? Deep down, I think a part of me knew that he was like that. Rafe had quite the short fuse; the smallest things setting him off. I'd seen him after getting into it with his father, I'd seen him snap at Sarah for the smallest things. I knew he was capable of all of this.

But I couldn't make excuses for him. He had hurt my friend. Maybe he thought he was doing Topper a favor, or defending him, but what he did was wrong. It was dirty. If I could have prevented it from happening, I would have in a heartbeat. But it was too late. All I could do now was defend Pope. And that was exactly what I planned on doing.