The Psychology of Falling in Love

XV. November 23rd & November 24th

AN: Self harm implications. Censored slur.

The past two weeks have been...different.

Claire was sending me surface level mixed signals. If anything, I was appreciative that it was normal mixed signals instead of our usual explosive mental illness ones. However, it still stung.

Our communication was a small dribble compared to what it was previously. It was text messages and brief conversations, no physical interaction, no stay-overs. She brushed it off when I brought it up, always finding interruptions for our talks.

I spent many hours trying to figure out what I did wrong.

But then, right as I was about to confront her, she would...She would look at me during class, and if her pupils could form hearts, they would. She wore my hoodie more and more. During a quiz that I finished early, I saw her head in her hands, nose buried in the left sleeve.

But now I had my chance. My car was idling outside of her apartment complex as I waited for her to come down. We were going to Imani's for Thanksgiving, and I was going to be her designated driver.

A gentle tap on my passenger window alerted me to Claire's presence. I turned my head and unlocked the door, smiling an apology as she climbed into the passenger seat. She had a platter balanced precariously on her hand.

"God, it smells like shit in here," Claire mumbled.

I raised my eyebrows. "I'm sorry I was in control of the deviled eggs."

"Where can I put this?"

I rolled my eyes and scoffed, motioning to the back seat. She set her apple turnovers, securing them with the blankets I had laid out in the back. I pulled away from the curb and began our journey to Imani's.

The car ride was eerily silent. Our bad moods entwined and created a heinous beast that overshadowed the excitement for the holiday. So much for the conversation, I guess.

The moment I put the car in park, Claire was out of the passenger seat. She opened the back, grabbed her apple turnovers, and damn near power-walked to the Nazim's front door. I sighed heavily and reached behind me to grab the deviled eggs before climbing out of the car.

I was greeted with the warmth of their wood fireplace, the smokey smell adding a depth to the festive atmosphere. It mixed with the intoxicating scent of the food. I stepped into the kitchen where everyone was, grinning at Imani wrapped around Lay's waist, kissing her shoulder as she prepped something on the stove.

"And Auntie Ari?" Eli shouted. "This is the best day ever!"

"What's up, little dude?" I called out to him, leaning down on one knee and opening my arms.

He shrieked and ran at me, launching himself into my arms. I hefted him up into the air, pretending it was difficult. I sat him down with a huff.

"You're basically a man now, dude," I panted. "I almost threw out my back!"

"I'm strong," Eli agreed. "And 'cause I'm so strong, I'm heavier!"

"That's right," I chuckled, ruffling his hair.

"How are you guys?" Imani asked innocently. Claire threw her a look that could kill and I shrugged in response.

"It's a holiday," I said with a small smile.

Alayna looked up at me and tilted her head. "Your mom?"

I held up my phone. "Been blowing up my phone almost all day. Calls, texts, social media messages."