3. School Stinks

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TW: SH

Colby's POV

Sam had just left my room as I slowly tried to get my heart rate and breathing to slow down. I had another dream about my boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, dead boyfriend, I don't even know what to call him anymore. It is crazy because I wasn't there when he had his car crash that took his life, but I have a consistent dream of the night like I was there, and it is terrifying. I look at the clock and see that it is just past 8pm. I got up and made my way to the bathroom. I closed the door and locked it before getting out my toiletry bag and digging for the blade. I found it at the bottom of the bag and rolled up my hoodie sleeve. I made cuts all over my arm, some small, some big. I flushed the toilet, so Sam didn't think anything too weird, and I ran my arm under the water. I found a bandage and wrapped it around my arm then pulled my sleeve back down. I replaced the blade where I got it and left the bathroom.

I made my way to the kitchen and grabbed a water then went back to my room. I got back in bed and scrolled through Instagram until it was 3am. I finally decided to try and sleep so I had a little rest before class tomorrow. My mind raised and voices screamed at me that I was stupid, unworthy, unlovable, and a waste of space. Tears streamed from my eyes as I lay fighting the demons in my head. However, in the midst of my fighting a sweet blonde boy's face appears in my head, and I smile to myself. I barely know Sam, but I think I may be just okay with him here. I continue to think of him as I slowly drift asleep with no thoughts in my head except the cute blonde boy I just met.

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I am startled awake by my alarm's sound. I turn it off still half asleep and make my way to the bathroom. I was still a bit groggy and out of it, so I decided to take a shower to wake me up. I strip down and look at my arm remembering the day before. I take the bandage off my arm and turn on the shower. The warm water washes over me and I sigh. I think to myself, why am I like this, as I look at my scarred and cut-up arms. What would Sam think of me if he saw the real me? I don't know if I want to know. I finished showering, brushing my teeth, doing my hair and made my way to my room to get dressed. I decided to go for a pair of black shorts, and you guessed it a hoodie. I grab my bag and make my way to the kitchen. Sam is already in there making himself some frozen waffles.

"Morning," he says to me as I make my way into the kitchen.

"Morning. You want to walk together to class since we both have chemistry this morning?" I say to him as I grab a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Yeah, sounds good to me," he says taking his waffles out of the toaster and putting them on a paper towel.

"You gonna eat something before class?" he questions.

"Ah nah." I saw looking at the ground. "I figured I have a break after class so I will grab something before history."

"Okay if you say so. You ready to go then" I nod at him, and he grabs his bag and waffles, and we make our way out of the dorm.

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My three classes for the day were done by 2, so I made my way back to the dorm to take a nap before dinner. I didn't have any homework since we just went over the syllabus and class expectations in all my classes. Sam should be back soon as well. I throw my backpack by the door and make my way to my room. I sent my mom a quick text saying that classes went well, and I went to bed to nap.

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Sam's POV

School is so boring, especially the first week when you don't do anything. I didn't see Colby after Chemistry, so I hoped he went and ate like he said. I finished my last class and made my way to the dorm. I was talking to some guy named Nate who was going to that party on Friday that me and Colby were invited to. He is chill and lives in the dorms next to where ours is. We say our goodbyes and walk into our buildings. I make my way to my room and open the door. Colby must have been asleep, so I went to my room and decided to work on my reading for class.

I get caught up in doing schoolwork and notice that it is 7pm so I make my way to Colby's room to see if he wants to go to the dining hall with me to get dinner. I knock lightly on his door and hear him mumble come in. He is lying in bed on his phone.

"You wanna go to the dining hall with me for dinner?" I asked him.

"Um yeah. Let me get my shoes on and we can go. He gets up and puts on his vans and we make our way out of the dorm to go to dinner.

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We argued the whole way there about which season of Fortnite is better and it is kind of nice. I enjoy Colby's company and I would be lying if I said he wasn't attractive. I still am not 100% sure of my sexuality but I guess that doesn't matter. I am in college, and I can test the waters and figure it out as I go. I look over at him as he looks up at the sky, a full moon glowing above us. It is a nice night for LA which doesn't happen a lot. We continue to walk in silence for a bit before we make it to the dining hall. I once again stuff my plate with loads of food, and Colby barely eats anything. I won't push him too much, but he doesn't eat a lot and that kind of worries me. We continue to make small talk as we eat and then we head back to the dorms. It is late by the time we get back so Colby heads to bed and I shower quickly before going to bed myself. As I lay trying to sleep, I think of the black-haired boy in the room next door and wonder what this semester will be like for us. Us. That is a strange word to use but in a way I kind of like it.  

A/N: Short chapter before the next one. The next one gets good!

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