the Bleeding Crown

Being Bonnie

January 9th 2014

Summerville, California.

When I dream, I dream of an Island. A lake on fire, an eclipsed sun above. An angel with seraph wings rises from the water, sword in hand. Her dark hair slick from the depths below. Pale skin shimmering with firelight and blood. Her eyes burned like the sun piercing right through me, that haunting gaze, and sickening smile. Atop her head, a jagged crown, like daggers shooting up into the sky. It was made from the blackest Iron, encrusted with gold, and jeweled with rubies.

The Angel comes towards me, she is always silent. I am her subject, a slave to her demand. It's always the same, I drop to my knees, and she raises the sword high above her head. She is death, the crooked scythe that will end my pathetic life. She hesitates at the last possible second and I wake up. The dream already fading from my memory.

***

The alarm on my phone went off, my eyes opened to the cold crack of dawn. Light passed through the crevasse in my curtains hitting me directly in the eyes. The grip of sleep held me tightly, right in the palm of its hand. There was a knock on my bedroom door, and a cruel voice came from the other side.

"Bonnie, it's time to get up." she said demandingly. There was a bit of silence and then from the other side. "I'm making chocolate chip waffles, shower then come downstairs". That voice is my mother. You wouldn't know it yet, but she was the worst thing in my life. She did however know how to bribe me with things that I loved.

I sat up in my bed, throwing the sheets and blankets off of me. Stretched my arms, and then kicked my feet out and jumped out of bed. The four baby blue walls had been my sanctuary for years. My bed, which was at the far end, was a simple thing, box frame. Despite its simple appearance it could be made into a fortress. Next to the window, a desk with a laptop, dozens of books,and a lamp. Countless nights had been spent there pouring over chemistry homework and other assignments.

My closet, which held my weapons of war. Armaments that would be used to combat the evils of the devil, aka my mother. The entrance, a door at the foot of my bed, inside my armor. I walked in and chose the outfit for my first day back to school after winter break.

It should be noted that the California winters never got particularly cold. Personally however, it was an insanely chilly time. There was a black hoodie that I had been quite fond of, a "gift" from a friend of mine. I say it like that, because it wasn't a gift, I had stolen it from her, from Isabelle. Her scent still lingered on it, that warm earthy smell made me happy.

I held it close to my chest and buried my head in the black fabric. I unfolded it and looked at it closely. The VANS logo emboldened across the chest, the edges chipped and faded from years of use. There was a mirror at the far end of the closet, I started to grab different articles of clothing and compared them against my slender body. In the end I went with a Green Day t-shirt, and a pair of black skinny jeans.

I hurried out into the hall and went into the bathroom. I started the shower, and waited for it to warm up. I took off my pajamas and tapped away on my smartphone, selecting the music for the morning. It was a Sleeping with Sirens type of day. "If I'm James Dean, Then you're Audrey Hepburn." a song that I had had on repeat for the past few nights. It reminded me of her, and the butterflies that I get when she's near me.

Dad always liked her, back when we were kids. He would take us both to the arcade, or out into the middle of nowhere to gaze at the stars. He was good like that, he took us to places that nobody had ever been to. Secret places, only for us. It had been three years since he passed away, he had missed so much.