Fireworks

4| Not The Right Time

"Lia?"

Startled, I nearly jump off the swing, my heart pounding. I turn my chin over my shoulder to see him standing behind me, his eyes full of worry and solemnity.

"Jonah," I clear my throat. "What are you doing here?"

"I was gonna ask you the same thing, but since you asked first," he sits down on the swing on my left, "I was looking for you."

I shrug. "Well, congrats, you found me."

His eyes doesn't light up and his lips didn't curl into a smile. His eyes remained solemn as he tilts his head. "Lia, what's wrong?"

"What?" I furrow my brows, forcing a smile to cover up my melancholy mood.

His chest heaves as he sighs. "I know you, Ophelia. Don't try to hide it. I know you're not feeling well because you're here. You don't go here unless you really don't feel well. And I mean emotionally unwell."

I swallow. "Geez."

"Sorry."

"I'm fine," I say, but it doesn't seem persuasive enough. "Boys will be boys."

He frowns and tilts his head the other way. "Is it James? What did he say?"

Oh, plenty. "Nothing."

"Lia," he sighs again, running a hand through his hair. The muscles in his bicep enlarge as he flexes, and it makes the sleeve of his dress shirt look like it's suffocating his arm. I tear my eyes away. "You're here. I'm here. We might as well talk."

"You wouldn't like what I would say," I mutter, tucking my hands in between my knees.

Jonah grabs my hand, and the butterflies in my stomach become alert when his knuckles grazed my skin. "I thought we both agreed that even thought we're not . . . you know . . . we're still going to open up about . . . deep stuff."

I arch a brow. "Deep stuff?"

His gaze softens and his lips slightly curl. "Yeah. Deep stuff."

I retract my hand. "Nothing. James just said something about . . . you . . ."

Now he arches a brow. "Did he say anything that would've personally offended me?"

"No," I swallowed the lump in my throat, and I avert my gaze and turn my head to face the other way. "He said how you guys looked good. Like, you guys are perfect for each other. You look like you guys were meant to be together."

After a beat of silence, I finally hear him breath out, "Oh."

I shrink a little bit.

"Lia, come here," I feel his hand reach out to tuck my hair behind my ear, and he softly turns my chin so I could look at him. His hand drops on my knee, and his thumb rubs my skin in a way that's so comforting at the same time it makes me want to scream. "Caryn...she's only a close family friend, okay? I do—"

His phone rings, and the loud volume startles us both. We pull back as far as we could as if we touched a flame. He sighs and pulls his phone out, and the name glows in bright white.

Caryn.

He blows out his cheeks—a few strands of blonde hair moving—and he presses the green button, pressing his phone against his ear. "Caryn? Yeah?"

I get up from the swing and pace a little. My heart was beating so fast but now? It sunk. And I don't think it will be beating in a while.

"No, yeah, I promise," I hear Jonah say, a hand tucked into his pocket. "Yeah. Yeah, I'll see you later. Bye." He saunters to me, his head still bowed down on his phone, and he's close enough to the point that I could see the missed calls and unread texts he got.

Caryn: JONAH!!

Caryn: Where are you??

Caryn: Don't forget ice cream tonight.

I clear my throat, my eyes heavy as I stare at his screen. "You've got plans after your party?"

"Hm?" he looks up and then back down. He quickly shuts his phone off and slips it back into his pocket. "Lia—"

"Don't," I bitterly say. "You made me feel like we could actually be something, but here you are with her. You like how she's flirting with you and making love eyes with you. It's gross to be honest and—"

He starts to laugh coldly. "You can't talk, Ophelia. Last time I checked, you were the one who didn't want to take the next step."

"I was waiting for the perfect time—"

"Well, I was waiting for you!" he exclaims, his eyes helpless. "I was waiting. I've been waiting. Everything time I feel like you'd finally say that you're ready, you pull away. And we go back to this. What do I have to do, Lia? What do I have to do for you to want me?"

"I do want you. I really do! It's just . . ." I exasperatingly run a hand through my hair, and my eyes start tearing up. "I don't think now's the right time."

My heart drops when I see his heart break through his facial expression. His shoulders droop and his face falls. His eyes are hopeless, and then cold.

"I guess you're right," he says, sadly, looking down and back up. His blue eyes are full of disappointment. "I want you to know that no matter how long you anticipate, there really will be no perfect time until you just do it.

But you're right. Now's not the right time. For you. Maybe for me.

Good night, Ophelia."