Mirage de l'amour (mirage of love)

40

It's been weeks now since me and jude have broken up. I've felt the same as I was when I was with him, empty. I don't know. I don't understand. It's like I'm missing something but I know I don't need it. I'm honestly doing fine without pedri. It's almost as if he was never here. I only truly reminisce when I see articles or old photos or simply fan account edits of us. Just reminds me of happy we were, how happy I was.

Now I'm just scared to get back into a relationship, with him or anyone.  I don't think relationships are it for me anyway. Maybe im just one of those people who were born to live and die alone. It's not a bad thing, I like my own presence. I've been spending most of my time alone or talking to my friends. I'm back in madrid. I've decided to do my last semester of the term here then move back to Barcelona for the next 2. It's almost over anyway, just 2 more weeks.

I do often see paparazzi take pictures of me when I do casual necessity runs but I can't really do anything.

Pedri and I haven't spoken since that night at the beach. I don't blame him. I did tell him I didn't want to do this with him. But I would've liked a little fight for us. Gavi and I have kept in touch, he doesn't know I'm moving back, he's just upset I left to Madrid without formally saying goodbye. Me and Isa, leyla, adriana also kept in touch. They know I'm coming back.

Today was just another day, coffee run, grocery, classes, gym and then I'm done. Little did I know who I was going to meet on my grocery run.

I met a guy, his name was Santi, short for Santiago. He was pretty attractive I won't lie. He was 2 years older than me. He was a light brunette, Hazel eyed with little hints of orange and green in them, he had high and hollow cheeks, straight teeth, a nice smile and had those crease lines that formed on the corners of his eyes whenever he laughed or smiled. He was perfectly created.

We met on accident. I was looking for a checkout counter to use as I was ready to pay and I got called by a cashier to go to her counter. I noticed there were already items on the belt and ignored it because she just tod me to give her the stuff. As I was placing items, I didn't notice a man behind me as he said, "that one's mine" as I held an object that I didn't pick out. "Oh I'm sorry I didn't realize" I replied slightly embarrassed. "No worries" he smiled gently.
"Sorry for taking your place, she just told-" I tried apologizing when he interrupted me, "no no don't worry. You're good" he said respectfully then started to help me place the objects from my cart onto the counter. "No it's fine you really don't have to do this" I say trying to stop him. "Nonsense, girls shouldn't have to do labour work, especially pretty girls" he says calmly. I smile confused but continue to help him.

"I'm santi, or Santiago" he says putting his hand out to shake after finishing putting the things onto the counter. "Amara" I say smiling back shaking his hand. I pay the bill and say, "alright we'll I have to go, it was nice meeting you and thank you for helping me" before leaving out with the trolley. "Wait" he says stopping me. I wait as he quickly pays the bill and catches up to me. "Yeah?" I reply confused. "Before I ask you my next question, how old are you?" He says upfront. "Uh, I'm 19" I reply confused still. "Oh okay great, could I be able to get your number? You don't have to if you don't want to" he says shyly. I smile and blush because of how adorable he was. "Sure" I say smiling while trying to stay calm. I slip in my number and say goodbye again.

It's been a few hours since. He hasn't texted me yet. Makes sense if he doesn't wanna seem desperate. I had to shower anyway. I was about to step into the shower when I got a text notification.

"Hey, this is santi from earlier"

I obviously didn't answer straight away so I finished my shower then answered. I was about to send my reply that I had in mind until I saw another text from him.