Dark Cravings

31.

My fingers felt bare like my body under these sheets, looking for his muscles to be feel, trace and dig in.

I looked around like a lost puppy, wondering what was I even doing and thinking of this, early in the morning. I can't feel my body farther down my waist.

The blanket slid down as I sat up straight, pushing it to the side. The way my belly jumped, feeling a pinch of pain between my legs. It was as if I could hear him moan and groan in my ears once again as he made my body shudder with orgasms.

I never thought I'd be able to feel this heat coming from the man who never failed to send chills down my spine with his cold stares. He felt different, as if nothing but desire controlled us. He wanted it to happen just as much as I did.

But, what now? What was it that we shared last night?

My heart raced thinking if this was all an uncalculated action by us, done in the heat of the moment. How am I going to face him now that I've..

Oh God!

I covered my face with the blanket with a groan of embarrassment.

How am I going to look at him right in his eyes and act natural after everything we did last night. No! I need to get it together. I can't make this marriage any more awkward.

My head spinned in thoughts just when I faintly remembered his voice from last night.

“I don't regret anything I did. I don't want you to regret it either. ” I couldn't recall anything more as it was the last thing he whispered before my heavy eyes gave up and cradled me to sleep.

“I don't want to regret it. ” I whispered, thinking again and this time a blush took over my cheeks instead.

I wanted him. I didn't lie. I've wanted to be where I was last night for so long but my sanity held my tongue from ever accepting. I know he's not meant for me and something that meant affection to me might be just a need to him.

With the weight of acceptance, I sighed, agreeing to this fact that last night was meant to be.

I got up, covering myself with a towel around my chest as I decided I'll take a shower before heading down stairs to see where's everyone and how the hell I ended up sleeping for so long.

•••

I carefully took steps down the stairs feeling my legs quiver as the way down the Hall felt like miles even when it was just in front of my eyes. My stomach had a sensation of rush and memory of his body that made my legs weaker with each step I took forward.

“Good Morning! ”

Ariana chimed in, smiling beautifully to the sight of me approaching the dinning table.

“Good morning. ” I smiled back pulling out a chair to sit right next to her.

I could feel my own body senselessly aching and twisting to every movement of mine. It was difficult but I kept my lips plastered with a smile.

“So, did you sleep well? It was such a tiring day for you after all. I fell dead asleep the moment I felt my bed under me. It's tiring to host these guests with this smile. ” she sighed, relaxing her face as if she could not hold the smile for any longer.

“It was really tiring. ” I admitted, but I knew exactly what got me the energy to survive the night. “I took a  shower and soon went to bed. ” I lied.

We chatted for a bit and everyone joined us gradually but I waited for Julian. My eyes scanned the stairs, leading up to his room and the doors of his office, closed shut.