𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌𝐒 | 𝐆𝐢𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬

66| Ours.

66 | Ours.

| Sage's POV |

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"Mom? Mom, I am so, so, so sorry." I said, running up to her.

"You're okay, right?" She asked.

"Yes." I nodded, taking a shakey breath. "Everythings working? Your wrist's okay? Nothing new is broken?"

"I'm fine. Really, really sorry, but fine."

"Anyone you know, like Maddy, or someone, get sick today? Break an arm themselves or get in a car wreck?" She said, walking up to the porch.

"No," I shook my head, watching Rory walk inside, giving us space. "Okay, good, then I can get past worried and move onto the other things." She scoffed.

"I know you're hurt—"

"You bet, I'm hurt. I really wanted you there today. This was important to me, Sage. More than anything, you and your sister are why I did this in the first place." She replied, turning to me.

"I know," I mumbled. "This was a once in a lifetime thing, Sage. All I wanted was the two most important people in my life there, I had one of them. But where the hell were you?" She snapped.

"Was it school?" I shook my head. "Studying? A test? Overdo work? What was it, Sage?"

"Really stupid." I said, feeling tears pooling in my eyes. "Well where were you?" She threw her bag on the porch. "What happened?"

I took a deep breath, "I ditched school."

"You what?" She scoffed.

"I don't know, I don't know mom. Suddenly I'm talking to Maddy then the next thing I know I left school and I'm getting on a bus. I don't know what happened, I don't know why, I think I had a seizure, because I'm telling you, that wasn't me!" I rambled.

"You got on a bus? And went where?"

"New York," I sighed. "And that's it, I'm grounded for the next year and a half of my life—you know what? Make it two. I deserve it. No music, no reading, no weekly visits to the pet store, no Maddy, I'm completely cutting myself off. I get absolutely nothing."

"Hold on, you went to New York?"

I kept going. "Not even dinner. Only breakfast and lunch, or only lunch if I upset you one day. And I don't get to complain, whatsoever. Or call child services. I'll do everyones laundry, the entire towns even! I'll even go as far as doing the dishes, even though they make me want to throw up. I'll work for Luke for free, and do absolutely everything. I'll clean the entire house four times a day, including the bathroom. I'll join basketball and purposefully let myself get hit in the head—"

"Sage?"

"What?" I took a breath.

"Why did you go to New York?" Mom asked.

"To see Jess." I exhaled.

"God, do you know how to skip over the important stuff." She scoffed.

"I don't know what happened!" I exclaimed.

"You went to New York to see Jess."

"It was the seizure! I'm telling you, I don't know who that was, but it was not me. I would never purposely hurt you, especially not over a stupid boy." I said. He wasn't stupid. He wasn't just a boy either. But she was my mom. And that had to come first.

"And after his phone call last night—" I began.

"That was him?" She gasped.

"It messed with me, a lot. I had finally started to accept he was gone, but then I heard his voice and it was like I was right back there, in town square, hearing he left." I felt tears streaming down my face now. "I felt like—god, I don't know!"

"Oh my god, I'm a horrible person! I don't—I don't know why I would ever just leave like that, it was so so wrong and just absolutely ridiculous. I would never ever even think of doing something like this—I mean it's insane, not only did I skip school before finals, but I missed my mom's graduation all to see a guy!

"I couldn't think, it was like all I could hear was his stupid voice, and all I could feel was his stupid hand holding mine, and then I saw his hoodies and jackets hanging up in my closet, and they don't smell like him anymore. And that's when I realized I didn't even remember what he smelt like! Which is ridiculous because he smells better than any other person I've ever met." I took a breath, completely sobbing now. "God—I hate myself! I'm so sorry, mom."

"Don't say that, Sage, please." She took a step forward.

"No, no I deserve it. I did the worst thing I could've possibly done today, and I'm so sorry. I hurt you, and I had to spend hours on the worst bus of my life next to a guy who had an afro and clothing made out of cat fur, and I was just thinking about all the time that was passing that I wasn't at your graduation and they were hurting you, and that's all my fault. And it was so so selfish of his person who definitely was not me, but also was, but wasn't to do what she—I—no, she did." I finished.

"My god, take a breath." Mom said.

"I don't deserve a breath. In fact, take that away too. I now have to be constantly running out of breath for the next two years. You should beat me, ground me, take everything away and make me suffocate." I cried.

"Okay, look, nobody wants to say this any less than me but—maybe you didn't have a seizure, or any medical condition or a mental problem, minus that small case of ADHD." She paused. I laughed, crying even more.

She sighed, looking at me. "Maybe, sweetheart, you're falling in love with Jess."

"No, no, no, no." I repeated. "I can't be, there's no way. I'm not meant to be in love with anyone till I'm twenty five, graduated from Yale or Harvard, have an excellent career, live in my own house, and have four cats."

"Honey, that's very unrealistic." Mom said.

"Well, too bad. Because that's the plan. It always has been, right? School now, boys never." I rambled.

"Plus," I scoffed, "Jess is gone. And I don't think he's coming back. I can't be in love with him, that's a little too cruel of a joke for the universe to play, even on me."

"Sage, you cut school. You got on the bus, and went to a strange city in your uniform, all to see Jess." Mom said.

"Yeah, I know." I exhaled.

"That doesn't mean nothing, kid. That means something. I mean—"

"No, no. I don't want to talk about this anymore! Instead, we'll be going over the list of ways I can make this up to you. Firstly, I get no coffee for a month. Second, all household chores and things to do are to be completed by myself. Third, you have complete control of the remote at all times. And—" I said, reaching into my backpack.

"This is my very first attempt at the beginning stage of the make up between us." I handed her the bag with the record, wiping my eyes.

"What's this?" She sighed.

"Your graduation present. You know, the one that I missed."

"Honey, honey, please forget about the list, forget about everything, just please calm down, you're hyperventilating." She grabbed my hands, taking the notebook.

"I'm so, so sorry, mom."

She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me in for a hug.

"Oh, really? Cause you didn't make that clear."

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