Shamless Y/n Milkovich

Part 12

*The next day.*
I woke up in a hospital.A doctor came up to me and explained the situation.My head felt so dizzy and I felt so weak, I don't know why.I wanted to stay for a few days at Mandy's, I didn't knew it would escalate that quickly.I would say, I'm happy, I'm alive but I'm not really happy about it.I mean I don't wanna die but I also don't wanna live.I wish I would just never have existed.

Doctor: How are you feeling?
Y/n: Not so well.
Doctor: You had a relapse.You should get your self some help, before it gets worse.
Y/n: I don't need help, I'm fine.
*Newt and Mandy come in*
Newt: No, you're not.
Mandy: Never ever do this again, you scared the hell out of me.
Y/n: You told anyone?
Mandy: I called Mickey.
Y/n: Are you serious right now? Why did you do that?
Mandy: Before you came to me, you lived at the gallagher's and Mickey and you were very close, I had to call him.
Y/n: I can't believe this.
*The Gallagher's and Mickey coming in.*
Mickey: Oh you better believe this, Mandy did nothing wrong.How could you do this to us?
Debbie: We thought you ran away.
Y/n: Yeah I kind of did.It just didn't work out.

This is too much for me.Everyone's staying there looking at me with this look of disappointment and sadness in their eyes.I couldn't look at Carl, I still don't know what happened that night and I'm not sure if I wanna know.I just wanna be alone.This situation is a real pain in my ass.

Doctor: I need to talk to y/n, alone.
Fiona: Okay, come on guys.
*They walked out.*
Y/n: What is it?
Doctor: I have some bad news for you.
Y/n: O-Okay?
Doctor: You lost the babies.
Y/n: *Acts sad* Oh no, really?This is so shitty.Can I go home?
Doctor: My sincere condolences and yes you can go home now.But you should attend a self-help group.Get some rest.Bye
Y/n: Bye.

*They drove home.Back at the gallagher house.6pm*
Lip: I know a self-help group, you should come with me once.
Y/n: I don't need help.
Mickey: Yes you do, tomorrow, you'll go with him to a meeting.
Y/n: No I don't.
Lip: Don't be stubborn.You need help and it's totally okay to need help.I needed help too and look at me, I'm clean for 2 years.
Y/n: I'm not stubborn and I don't need help, I can hadle it by my own!

*Y/n walkes out of the house, Carl follows her.*

Carl: Y/n wait.
Y/n: *she stops and turns around to him* What is, Carl?
Carl: Why have you been ignoring me for the last 3 days?
Y/n: I didn't.
Carl: Yes, you did. You ignored me when I talked to you, you ignored my calls, my messages and in the hospital you didn't even
looked at me, what is going on?
Y/n: I don't know okay? Maybe I just need some distance, some space.
Carl: Why?What have I done to you?
Y/n: Nothing.
Carl: Then what is it?Talk to me y/n!
Y/n: What happened that night?
Carl: What night?
Y/n: You no which night I mean.
Carl: Oh that night.Nothing happened y/n.
Y/n: I woke up, without a shirt and you were just in underwear.
Carl: You were really drunk and came in my room.You wanted to fuck with me, but we didn't.I would never do this,when you're
drunk.You took your shirt off and then I stopped you before things go to far.You just fell asleep in my bed and I slept in
Liam's bed.
Y/n: Omg, this is so embarrassing.
Carl: Just stop drinking, than this wouldn't happen again.
Y/n: I wanna stop, I really wanna stop, but I can't.
Carl: Yeah because you need help, y/n. I think you should go to a meeting with Lip.They'll help you.*He walks closer to her.*
Y/n: You're right.I'll go, I promise.
*They're kissing and go back into the home.Everyone's asleep already.Y/n goes in Debbie's room and Carl in his.*

*Next day after the meeting.*
Carl: How was the meeting?
Y/n: Good, it was really good.Where is everyone?
Carl: I don't know.What did they say at the meeting?
Y/n: They just said I should find something to replace the alcohol, but I don't know what.
Carl: I'm sorry but I gotta go now, I got a job.
Y/n: What?Where?
Carl: At a restaurant, see you later. *kissed y/n forehead and left the house*

Here I am, home, alone, trying to escape the craving for alcohol.What's not really easy when you're home alone, in the kitchen where a fridge, full of beer stands.Maybe I don't have to stop, I just slow down.One drink per day.This won't kill anyone, or I'm gonna search for a job too, or I just sleep or sleep with Carl.Okay, well I don't know if I'm ready to sleep with him, but I could try.No, this is a bad idea.I opened the fridge and grabbed a beer, opened it and drank it.The door opens, shit, it's Debbie and Liam.

Debbie: Hey is anyone home?
*Walks in the kitchen*
Debbie: Y/n? I thought you wanted to stop drinking.Where you at the meeting today?
Y/n: Yes I was and I just figured out for my self, that I don't have to stop, I just drink less.
Debbie: What about the babies?
Y/n: Oh yeah, I forget to tell you, I lost them.
Debbie: Oh shit.Are you okay?
Y/n: I'm more than okay.Debbie this is great, now I don't have to give birth.That's a relief.
Debbie: Uhm okay?Could you watch Liam? I have to go.
Y/n: Yes sure.

*Debbie walks out of the house and sees Ian *
Ian: Is everything okay Debbie?
Debbie: I think you should rather ask y/n.
*She kept going but Ian grabbed her arm stopping her.*
Ian: What do you mean?
Debbie: She's been acting really weird.
Ian: Weird?Like what?
Debbie: Like hyperactive and super happy, I don't know just weird.

*Ian and Mickey came inside.Y/n and Liam on the couch watching TV.Ian grabs a beer and sits down besides y/n*
Ian: How was the meeting?
Y/n: Kind of boring. *Takes a sip from her beer.*
Ian: Y/n, I don't think that drinking, is a good idea.
Y/n: Relax, I just drink one beer, it's not a crime.I got it under control.
Ian: You sure?
Y/n: Hell yes.I'm going now.
Ian: Where?
Y/n: Just going for a walk.You watch Liam?
Ian: Sure.See you later.

After the walk, I walked upstairs and knocked at the boy's room, 'cause I didn't saw Liam or Ian and I wanted to know if they're home.Carl opened the door, I stepped in and he closed the door behind me.*
Y/n: Where are Liam and Ian?
Carl: I don't know, I came home a few minutes ago and then no one was home.
Y/n: Oh okay.How was work?
Carl: It was okay, my boss is a little weird but it was okay.
Y/n: Nice. *She walked up to him kissed him.*
Carl: How was your day?Are you okay?
Y/n: I had a really good day and I'm feeling great, I feel really good actually.
Carl: That's good to hear.
Y/n: Carl, the doctor yesterday told me that I lost the babies.Before you say anything, it was a relief to hear that, I just feel
         so great and free.It was the best thing, that happened to me that day.
Carl: Are you high or something?
Y/n: What the fuck, no.