CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

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-TATUYANNA TORRONO >

In my late father's backyard, my dogs occasionally played with each other. Running across the lawn and tackling each other. A wave of serenity floods through me as I watch the exchange, with me above the brightest green grass, sitting on an egg-shaped hanging chair. 

Guards stood at every corner of the property, persistent even though I told them to go home. 

To be fair, the last time I requested that, I got jumped in a parking lot. 

Looking up, my skin rejoiced at the little sun that barely heated my skin. This late into December, the weather in Sicily was colder. My charcoal sweater and matching charcoal slacks didn't warm me up much. 

My eyes drift closed, and I allow my thoughts to run. 

Pregnancy. My first thought. 

Pregnancy at twenty-two. My second thought. 

Six weeks. Two months. They are forcing me to do this. To become a mom. Me? I'm a hazard. God, I think I'd end up losing it at the gym or something. Or maybe a park? Or someplace hazardous. Either way, I guess I have to think about this, instead of blowing it off like I do everything. 

Like my feelings for Ares, but I'm not ready for that thought process yet. 

I'll settle for the lesser complicated decision. 

Maybe if I had a kid of my own, they and I could understand each other better than other people. What if I was that person for my father? Besides, I've read through articles about women who claim that a child will love their parents more than anything in life. Well, mother. Since it looks like I'll take care of the baby myself. If that statement is true, maybe it won't be that bad to be a mom. 

I could do research about motherhood in the early stages. If I follow the instructions and advice I find online, I should do perfectly fine. 

A hand touches my shoulder and I jerk, my hand grasping the person's wrist. "Woah woah! Hey, it's me." Heathe pulled his hand away before I could break it. I watch him shake it before placing it in his hoodie's pockets. "What are you doing here?" I notice Fiorella trail up behind him.

He shrugs one shoulder. "We're cousins. Cousins don't have reasons for visiting each other." 

I look him in the eyes. "Not with this family. I am no family expert, but I'm pretty sure selling off your cousin to save the rest of the family is still wrong. I can't trust anyone in this family. You've all been nothing but disappointing. I don't understand why you still try to. . ." I gesture between the space between us. "I don't know, be nice to me? Whatever, it's throwing me off. I'm so used to hating you. I can't believe I thought I was starting to trust you. We should go back to how we used to be. It was simpler. I knew my enemies, I knew who I could trust." 

Which was only my dad, and Ares really.

Well, and Amelia.

Fiorella's eyes soften, and she comes and sits next to me. "Can I ask you something? Do you believe in God?" 

I nod my head. I may not be the best Christian out here, but no one really is. That's the unique thing about a relationship with God. 

"Have you ever done something cruel, and sought forgiveness desperately? Like you'd die of guilt if you didn't? And you've been attowning for your sins. Trying to ease the guilt somehow. That's what we're going through right now. I'm dying inside knowing what a lonely little girl you grew up as. Knowing you had to go through the cruelty of our grandparents too." 

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