The Rampage MC #4: Max and Briony

Chapter 17 (Max): I'm Telling You

Copyright © 2024 by GroveltoHEA

I followed Briony into her place, my brain focusing on one thing: she thought maybe she'd been the one to say I love you in her hangover fog.

"You want to eat here in the kitchen at the table?"

"Sure," I agreed. I would have said yes to eating in a bathtub filled with ice cubes and cold water. I didn't care as long as I was with Briony.

I start pulling all of her favorites -- I hoped they were still her favorites -- from the two bags and set them out while she sets plates in front of us.

"Do you want a beer or something?"

"Do you have any pop? A Coke or something would be great."

With a nod, she reached into the fridge any pulled out two cans of Coke.

"I just ordered all of the tapas that you said you liked."

She smiled. 

You're beautiful, Briony.

In no time, we're sitting across from each other at her table and conversation was surface-level, easy.

"You missed the first part of the entertainment I provided," she laughed after we'd covered some basic weather and sports. "Darren came storming into my house and pointed a finger right in Rie's face, like this," she said, and then she demonstrated by pointing her index finger right at the tip of my nose.

What would you do if I grabbed it and nipped at your fingertip, Briony? And then I sucked it into my mouth --

"And he said she might want to reconsider her outfit unless she was going for a slutty vibe for her date."

"He said pretty much the same thing to me at the club house when you sent him that picture of her. I think you did it on purpose."

Briony's smile was smug. "He needed help seeing her as a woman, not as his buddy."

"He tried to tell me he just cared about how she looked because of their friendship."

With a roll of her eyes, Briony served herself some more patatas bravas. "He's so dense where she's concerned. He doesn't want other guys around her, but he won't make a move on her."

"I think he will now," I said, "but I don't want to talk about Rie and Guard anymore. I want to talk about us."

Briony surprised me. Instead of leaning away from me, she leaned toward me across the table. "Let's start with my question you never answered, Max. Why do you sit outside my place every night?"

"You know why. I left you unguarded once."

"What if I start dating someone else, Max? What if he moves in with me, takes over guard duty?"

It was my turn to lean toward her. "I'd still be here."

"Well, what if he didn't want you watching over me?"

"He'd have to move me," I told her. "And even if he could, that still wouldn't be enough to make me leave you."

"And what if Wendie called again? Would that be enough to move you?"

"Do you think I didn't learn from the biggest fuck up of my life, Briony? I left you, the woman I love, for someone who didn't mean shit to me because I had to go play hero. You know how that knowledge eats away at me like a fucking disease? You don't think I wish I could have a do-over for that stupid fucking decision just about every hour of every day? Do you honestly think I'd leave you for her or anyone else ever again?"

I grabbed her soft hands in mine and just let myself enjoy the feel of her skin on mine for a minute. 

"Briony, it wasn't Wendie I missed for a year. It was you. It wasn't Wendie I had to go see the same day my time as a prospect was up. It was you. It wasn't Wendie I tried to get information on for a year. It was you. And it was you that fucking made my heart stop when you walked through the club house doors after I hadn't laid eyes on you for six months. A half a year of wondering how the hell you were doing. That's a really long answer just to say no, no way in hell would I leave you if Wendie was somehow able to get ahold of me."

At that, she did sit back, gently sliding her hands from mine. "You honestly haven't been in touch with Wendie since I was attacked?"

"No. I told you before that she came over after you were attacked, and I told her I wouldn't be helping her anymore and to lose my number. I also blocked her on my phone. And that was the last time I thought of her and you don't know how much I wished I'd done that long before."

"I don't know how much of this is genuine and how much is guilt, Max. How can I ever believe that you just aren't trying to assuage your guilt?"

"It's genuine," I told her. "I'm not going to deny that I feel guilty as hell over what I allowed to happen to you. That's natural when someone you care about gets hurt, especially when you caused the hurt. But if I didn't love you, I'd make my apologies, try to make it up to you someway and then I'd move on with this horrible memory living in my head. But I wouldn't make it my life's mission to win you back if I wasn't one hundred percent in love with you."

"Wendie needed you. I needed you, but not in the same helpless ways she did. You liked helping, being needed. You can't deny that."

"And I wouldn't deny it because I did like to feel needed," I agreed because she was absolutely right. "It was how I made a place for myself, how I made myself important to people, how I made sure I had value to someone. I was cured of that pretty fucking fast that night, when I saw the price you paid because I left you to help someone else. I left you, Briony, and I'd give my life if that could change what happened to you as a result of me not handling the situation the right way. There are hundreds of other options I could have chosen that night, all of which would have resulted in you being OK, but I made the worst choice I could have."

"That you did," she said. "So what are you asking me for here, Max?"

"I'm not asking for anything." That surprised her. "I'm telling you that I'm here, Briony. You got no trust in me, and why should you? You got hurt because of me. But I'll do whatever the fuck I have to do to regain your trust. It's like physical therapy. You lose the use of an arm or a leg, and you have to work at it to strengthen it, to build it back up. I'll sit outside your window every night watching over you until you realize I'm not budging. I'll take care of you in all the ways I can think of so you know I want to meet your needs. Yours, Briony, only yours. I let you down in the most horrible way I could. That's a lesson that doesn't need to be learned more than once because it's so bad. A man that learns from his mistakes is never going to let that happen again on his watch."

"And say you earn my trust. What then?"

"Well, then I start to earn your love."

And maybe, since Briony thought she'd said I love you to me, maybe it might be possible.

Copyright © 2024 by GroveltoHEA