𝐍 𝐒𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐔𝐩

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟕- 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐭 (𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝)

3 months later, November 14th
4:45 pm
April's pov

Life since Miami set things into a different perspective for me, for a while I acted like nothing happened not realizing I put my mindset into fear mode.

I felt like I was being followed everywhere I went which turned into paranoia, it made me not want to go outside all together unless I had to.

I became roommates with Ricci for a few months while I tried to get a job, it was nice having her distract me from my thoughts as she kept me busy with helping get her new designing business off the ground.

It was slow at first but a video of me in one of her designs went viral on instagram and spreaded like wild fire, floods of orders came in and kept her busy non stop.

Weeks where she would be out of town were the times I'd have night terrors, I'd try to ignore them but they became more intense and lucid.

It worsened to the point of deciding to go to therapy.
Ricci set me up with Sheree Robinson, one of the highest rated black therapist in Georgia. Specializing in psychoanalysis and cognitive therapy.

Our first meeting I was closed off barely speaking, even though her energy was slightly intimidating but comforting at the same time.

As she got me to open up the way she spoke to me made me feel like she was an auntie I could tell anything too, we talked about things I never dared to admit to myself. The relationship trauma, low self worth, abandonment and distrust issues.

"It seems to me you don't truly believe in yourself, and my analysis is determining the confidence you have comes out after drinking a lot." Sheree said in a monotone voice making direct eye contact at me as she adjusted her glasses.

It was embarrassing to remember all the painful things from my past I wanted to let go of, I never confided to anyone but ricci about my traumas.

Sheree explained to me that being secluded from the only parent I knew as I child is what has led me to low self esteem and worth, taking any relationship anyone would give me just to satisfy the loneliness.

I thought I had got over that stage before college, so it
hurt to learn it still lingered in me, It was the main source to my negative mindset, thoughts truly had consequences.

But I could only drop my head in shame trying to hide the hot tears I began to cry, wanting this weight I carried to be gone.

As she consoled me hit me with words that continued to flood through my mind, "there is present and future april, the future april I see is a persistently genuine an joyful person, it's up to you if you're gonna grab it or not."

Ever since then I've been working on my mental health and happiness, she gave me the daily task of writing down my gratitude and my grievances every night in a journal.

I also started to do research on manifestation along with prioritizing my faith more, and felt difference after leaning into positive things instead of sitting in the negative.

I felt lighter.

I went into plenty of interviews thinking I was automatically gonna get a no but I got a job being an office assistant at a marketing firm. It wasn't the most glamorous opportunity but it payed well enough to live decent on my own with one worries.

I soon moved into my first place in a neighborhood close to my job, filled for miles with luxury three story townhomes surrounded with bright and vibrant greenery, unique flowers & trees that flooded the neighborhood with bliss.