Picture This | Matty Healy Fanfic

Chapter 32

(TW: Mentions of abuse, sexual assault, ans r@pe)

Time slipped away from me, calls stopped after my phone died a few hours ago, I felt numb at this point. I had been out in the cold awhile. It had started to snow at some point. Not much, but it was still snowing.

"Ember? Ember honey, what are you doing out here? It's 2 in the morning, and it's snowing." I heard. I looked up, seeing Jennifer. She was my mom's best friend. "I uh- I just was getting some air." I said. "Come on, sweetheart, get in the car. I'll drive you home." She said. I was going to oblige, but I honestly hated the feeling of being cold, and at this point, I was past that. I walked over to her car and got in the passenger seat. "My mom told you, didn't she?" I asked. Jennifer let out a sigh. "Yeah." I nodded. "Just letting you know, all the posts were taken down." She said. "Yeah, but the damage is already done." I said. "I'm sorry, sweetie." She said.

"How long had you been out there?" She asked me. "Since 9." I said. "Okay, I mean, that's a few hours." She said. "9 in the morning." I said. "Oh shit Ember." She said. "Yeah, I know." I said softly.

Just then, her phone began ringing. "It's your mom." She said. She stopped at the stop sign and answered the phone. "I've got her." She said. "I will, don't worry." She added. "We'll be there in like 10 minutes." She finished.

As she got off the phone, she looked at me. "Are you okay to stay at your moms tonight?" She asked. I let out a shakey breath. "Yeah." I said. "I'm so sorry you have to deal with this, sweetie." I stayed quiet.

* A few minutes later*

We pulled up to my moms house, and I let out a soft sigh. "Thanks for picking me up." I said. She smiled at me. "Anytime, sweetie. I'm always here if you need it." She said to me. I nodded.

I walked up to the door, but before I even reached it, the door opened, and my mom ran out. She ran to me and hugged me. Immediately, I started to cry. All these feelings are all at once. I couldn't handle it. My mom just stood there, still holding me. She didn't say anything. She just hugged me. That's all I needed. And she knew that.

After a few moments, I started to calm down. "Come inside. I'll get you something warm." She said.

In this moment, I felt broken. I felt like I was 17 again.

It all was my real nightmare.

We walked in, and I closed the door. "Please tell me CJ and Matt aren't up." I said softly. I didn't want anyone else seeing me right now. The last time I was this broken was 8, almost 9 years ago. I couldn't believe this was happening. "No, I told them to go to bed as soon as we knew you were okay." My mom said as she brought me a cup of hot tea. "Do you want to go change your clothes?" She asked me. "No, I'll change before I go to bed." I said. "You're staying here tonight. Right?" She asked me. "Is that okay?" I asked. "Of course, honey." She said.

I looked at her, and it hit me again. "Mom, I don't know what to do. Everyone knows now. Literally, everyone. It was all over social media. Everyone saw the video mom." I said. "I know, sweetie. But if anything, it just looks bad on Corey." She said. "I didn't want people to know. I wanted that part of my life to be over." I said. "I wish I could make it all go away." She said. I sat there quietly. My body began getting tired, and I looked at her. "Go to bed, honey. I'll be here if you need anything." She said to me. I hugged her one last time.

*Upstairs*

I walked into the room I had when we first moved here. My room was all the same. The boy band posters on the walls, the record player on my shelf, with all my vinyls. My favorite pictures from back in California pinned on my wall. The pictures I took of my mom and my brother when I was first practicing taking pictures. My guitar that Matt had given me for my birthday when I turned 18. It was teenage me in a nutshell.

I changed out of my clothes into things that I had left here for the occasion I would stay here. I slipped on the crew neck and the sweats. I pulled my hair up and looked myself in the mirror.

I had makeup that had smeared all over my face, but I didn't care. I grabbed a makeup wipe and cleaned it off before I got in bed. I laid there, feeling as if I was helpless. I told myself I would never let myself feel helpless again. But here I was, with that twisting feeling in my stomach. It hurt. It really hurt.

I wanted to bad to be okay, for this not to kill me from the inside out like it did. But I couldn't help it.

Why me? Why is this happening to me? Did I do something to deserve it? Was this really my fault?