When Jake meets a woman at the Hard Deck, the last thing he expects is for her to be a Navy Seal. And not just any Seal, the Commander of Seal Team 3. She's beautiful, smart, dangerous, and everything about her just makes him want to get close. Her...
Warnings: events of chapter 14, angst, crying, grief, mourning, mentions of betrayal and kidnapping, I hurt Jake again
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A knock at the door had Jake standing up from his bunk and hurrying to open it. He prayed for any news from Bug and the other Seals, that someone had eyes on Bear, that she was safe. That she had been smuggled back to Riyadh under the cover of darkness and was recuperating in the infirmary under F.A.K.'s watchful eye.
But no such luck.
Instead, Bug stood before him with a solemn look in her eyes. "Here," she said softly. "Bear wrote this to you before we left for the mission. I had forgotten about it until just now, but this is for you."
Jake swallowed hard, biting back tears as he took the green envelope from her, doing his best to hold it softly. He didn't want to crease the only thing that he had of Bear's. Didn't want to ruin the only thing that she had been able to physically give him, even after her disappearance. He would protect this letter and its contents with his life if he had too.
"Thanks," Jake finally managed to say. It was a soft, sorrow-filled sound, one that had Bug reaching to squeeze his arm gently. "I..."
Bug smiled softly at him, her own mask down. She let him see her grief, her pain, all of it written in the furrows of her brows, the redness in her eyes, and the tear stains that hadn't been fully wiped from her cheeks. Even her posture beheld suffering, stooped lower than she would ever walk, shoulders up like she was bracing for another blow, and Bug looked like the very mirror to Jake's own stance.
Jake saw how her hand trembled slightly as she withdrew it from his arm. For all she was doing to remain strong for her team, she let it down around him. She showed him her vulnerable side so he knew that he wasn't alone in his suffering, that there were others stuck in this limbo between grief and hope. Between pain and anger.
"You're so welcome," Bug told him as she let her hand drop back to her side. "And whatever Bear wrote to you, just know that I am here if you need to talk about it. Remember that you aren't alone Jake. You are a part of her family now too, and we all grieve together."
She paused, giving him a soft smile. "Bear wouldn't want you to suffer alone."
Those seven words slammed into his chest like bullets, leaving him gasping for breath under the heaviness in Bug's words. They sat on his ribs, forcing him to relive the realization that she was gone over and over again. Those words dug deep, clawing their way through every pitiful defense he had built in an attempt to protect his soul from the bomb that had gone off in the middle of his life. Those words came with a moment of clarity, warping his fragile psyche into a memory that would live in him forever, a memory that would have him jolting up in the middle of the night time and time again no matter how much time had passed by.
It didn't matter how strong Jake thought he was before all of this had happened because now he was left standing in the shambles of his life. The one thing, the one person that had captured him mind, body, and soul had vanished from his grasp in the time it took to blink.
