■ Chapter 14 ■

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Kya tujhe ab ye dil bataye
Tujhpe kitna mujhe pyaar aaye
Aansuon se likh doon main tujhko
Koi mere bin padh hi naa paaye

How should my heart express
How much it's (I'm) in love with You
I'll write You in tears
So that no one except me is able to read

◉‿◉◉‿◉◉‿◉◉‿◉◉‿◉◉‿◉◉‿◉◉‿◉◉‿◉◉‿◉◉‿◉◉‿◉

Taehyung tossed and turned in his bed, his face contorted in agony. He was dreaming of the past, of the day he had the biggest fight with his best friend Hana.

They were sitting on a bench in the park, where they used to hang out since they were kids. Taehyung had just told Hana that he had passed the audition for Big Hit Entertainment, and that he was going to Seoul to train as a k-pop idol.

Hana was shocked and angry. She couldn't believe that Taehyung would leave her behind, after all they had been through together. She felt betrayed and abandoned.

"How could you do this to me, Taehyung?" she shouted. "You're my best friend, my only friend! You can't just leave me here alone!"

Taehyung tried to calm her down, to explain that this was his dream, his passion, his chance to make it big. He said that he would always stay in touch with her, that he would never forget her, that he loved her.

But Hana was not listening. She was too hurt, too scared, too jealous. She thought that Taehyung would change, that he would become famous and forget about her, that he would meet new people and replace her. She felt like she was losing him forever.

"You don't love me, Taehyung!" she cried. "You only love yourself, your fame, your money! You don't care about me, about us, about our friendship! You're selfish, Taehyung, you're selfish and cruel!"

Taehyung was hurt by her words, by her accusations, by her tears. He felt like she didn't understand him, didn't support him, didn't trust him. He felt like she was holding him back, dragging him down, making him feel guilty.

"I'm not selfish, Hana!" he yelled back. "I'm following my dreams, my heart, my destiny! You should be happy for me, Hana, you should be proud of me, you should be my friend! You're being unfair, Hana, you're being unfair and unreasonable!"

They stared at each other, their eyes full of anger, pain, and sadness. They had never fought like this before, never said such harsh words, never felt such strong emotions. They had broken each other's hearts, and they didn't know how to fix them.

They both got up from the bench, and turned away from each other. They walked in opposite directions, without looking back, without saying goodbye, without knowing that it was the last time they would ever see each other.

Taehyung's dream shifted to another scene, a darker one. He was standing in front of Hana's house, surrounded by police cars and ambulances. He had received a call from Hana's mother, telling him to come quickly, that something terrible had happened.

He ran inside the house, and followed the sound of sobbing. He reached Hana's room, and saw her lying on the bed, still and pale. She had a bottle of pills in her hand, and a note on her pillow. She had taken her own life, and left him a message.

"Taehyung, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for hurting you, for hating you, for leaving you. I'm sorry for being weak, for being scared, for being hopeless. I'm sorry for not being your friend, for not being your lover, for not being your Hana.

I love you, Taehyung. I love you more than anything. I love you more than myself. I love you more than life. But I can't live without you, Taehyung. I can't live in a world where you're not with me, where you're not mine, where you're not happy.

Please forgive me, Taehyung. Please don't hate me, don't blame me, don't forget me. Please remember me, remember us, remember our friendship. Please be happy, Taehyung. Please be successful, be famous, be yourself.

Goodbye, Taehyung. Goodbye, my best friend. Goodbye, my love".

Hana.

Taehyung dropped the note, and fell to his knees. He reached out to touch Hana's face, to feel her warmth, to see her smile. But she was cold, she was still, she was gone.

He felt a sharp pain in his chest, like someone had stabbed him with a knife.

He screamed her name, over and over again.

"Hana! Hana! Hana!"

---

Taehyung woke up from his nightmare, gasping for air and sweating profusely.

He looked around his room, and realized that it was just a dream.

But it felt so real, so vivid, so painful.

He felt tears sting his eyes, and he buried his face in his pillow.

He wished he could forget that day, that moment, that scene.

But he couldn't.

It was engraved in his mind, in his heart, in his soul.

It was his guilt, his regret, his sorrow.

It was his nightmare.

---------

Taehyung stands alone on the balcony, his mind clouded with thoughts of his past and the drastic changes in his life. The cool breeze brushes against his face as he gazes into the night sky, searching for solace.

Taehyung whispered to himself "How did my life end up like this? From being on top of the world as an idol to feeling invisible in a foreign land. It's hard to even comprehend what happened to me".

His eyes flicker with a mix of sadness and confusion as he recalls the moment he was pushed from the auditorium rooftop.

Taehyung murmuring "Did I die that day? Or is this some kind of twisted alternate reality? No one seems to see me or acknowledge my pain, except for Naya. She's the only one who truly sees me".

He grips the balcony railing tightly, a wave of regret crashing over him.

Taehyung continued whispering "I should've never left Hana alone. If I had known what she was going through, I would've done anything to stop her. The letters, her diary...they tore me apart. How could I have been so blind to her feelings, her love for me?"

His voice quivers with guilt as he reflects on his past judgments of Hana as a selfish person.

Taehyung murmuring "I thought she was pushing me away, being selfish. But deep down, she knew the sacrifices I had to make to become an idol. She hid her disappointment, always supportive. I was the selfish one".

Regret weighs heavily on Taehyung's heart as he acknowledges the mess his life has become since Hana's death.

Taehyung says barely audible "My life is a mess now. No one sees my agony, my pain. Except for Naya. She's like a new ray of light in my life. But I'm afraid to get too attached. What if history repeats itself? I can't bear that again".

His resolve strengthens, a decision forming within him.

Taehyung resolute "I need to keep my heart in control... I can't let myself get too involved. Naya deserves better than what I can offer".

As he contemplates his feelings, Taehyung can't deny the growing emotions within him towards Naya. Despite his fear, he yearns for a chance at experiencing love, to break free from his painful past.

Taehyung whispering "If this is love... I wish I could stop myself, but I can't. Seeing her smile, her concern, and care... it stirs emotions in my cold heart that I never thought I'd feel again".

His desire to protect Naya urges him to keep his true feelings hidden, to shield her from any potential heartbreak.

Taehyung determined "I'll keep my true self hidden. I don't know what happened with me in Korea, but I know I can't risk hurting Naya. I need to be cautious, despite the overwhelming urge to express my love".

With a heavy heart, Taehyung continues to stand on the balcony, wrestling with his emotions and contemplating the path he should take for a better future-one that doesn't repeat the mistakes of his past.


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