Haikyu!! Oneshots

[Quiet Kenma - 👥️⚠️]

👥️ - Platonic KuroKen
⚠️ - Heavy Angst
- Self Harm
- Blood
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Kenma and Kuroo sat over at Kenma's place, sat down in front of the TV with a video game on the screen. This was a typical weekend for the boys, mostly. The only thing off about it was that Kenma was quieter than he usually is. Usually, when it was just him and Kuroo, he was talkative and less anti-social. Tonight though, he was the complete opposite. 

It didn't go unnoticed, that's for sure. No one knows Kenma better than Kuroo does. 

He'd already asked him multiple times if he was alright, and all Kenma did was lie through his teeth, spewing out excuse after excuse. 

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"I'm just tired."

Over and over again, that's all Kuroo would get out of him. Eventually, he paused the game, refusing to unpause it until Kenma gave him a realistic answer. 

"You know you can talk to me, right?" 

"I know, but really. I'm fine. Now unpause the game so we can keep playing…please…" He replied quietly. He wanted the game as a distraction, something to focus on besides the dark thoughts creeping into his mind. 

"I know you better than anyone, KenKen, I know something is going on." Kuroo looked at him, concern in his eyes. 

Kenma had never told anyone about any of his issues before. Not a school counselor, not his parents, and especially not Kuroo. 

And he wasn't going to change that now. 

"I'm just frustrated with school and volleyball, I'm mentally drained. We were given three projects in the last 2 weeks in a few classes, and in volleyball I feel like I'm not doing my best with it due to all the school stuff." He came up with yet another excuse. 

"You're doing just fine at practice, so put that out of your head. As for the school work, is there anything I could help with?" He offered. 

"No, an essay for English, another project for English, and a history project." He rolled his eyes, making sure his made up projects were in subjects Kuroo wasn't the best at. Meaning, he avoided saying anything related to science. 

"Alright, well, if there's anything I can do, let me know, okay." 

"I will, Kuro. I'm running to the restroom and then we can continue to play." Kenma said, getting up from his spot on the floor and heading down the hall to the bathroom. 

He locked the door and rummaged through the cabinet under the sink, searching for the blade he always uses. 

He eventually found it, hidden behind some cleaning supplies. Then he sat down on the floor, back against the door, and sliced through the skin on his wrists. 

Tears slowly fell and mixed with the crimson blood that oozed from the fresh cuts he was making, stinging them. 

Throughout the process, he zoned out, wondering what it would feel like if he accidentally went too far. If he bled out on the bathroom floor. 

"Kenma, you good?" He was pulled from his thoughts by a knock at the door. He should've known Kuroo would go looking for him. 

"I-I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute." He said, manipulating his voice to be as normal as possible. 

"Kenma, let me in." Kuroo pleaded. He knew. He knew all too well that Kenma wasn't 'fine'. 

"Just wait in the living room." He said again. He frantically started cleaning the floor, then his cuts. Hurrying to get out so he wouldn't get caught. 

What Kenma doesn't know is that Kuroo has had his suspicions for a while. He knew Kenma was doing something along the lines of self harm. 

First, he noticed when Kenma started wearing compression sleeves to practice. It was a random thing he did, and really didn't give a reason as to why he was wearing them. 

He noticed the way Kenma winced and flinched when he received balls or when anything brushed against his arms and when he'd move his arms weird and twisted the cuts, almost reopening them. 

He noticed the hoodies. Kenma had one on every day, regardless of how warm it was outside. 

And yet, Kuroo never said anything. He wanted to be wrong, thought he was overthinking and didn't want to accuse Kenma of anything. 

But after that night's conversation, he knew he was right. He saw right through Kenma's lies. 

"Kenma, let me in. I'm not stupid. Let me help you." He said. His voice broke, hating that he knew exactly what Kenma was doing behind that door. 

Reluctantly, Kenma opened the door, practically collapsing into Kuroo's arms and sobbing. 

"Hey, it's alright. Everything's fine." Kuroo held him as he slid back down to the floor. 

"I-I'm sorry. You weren't - you weren't supposed to know. No one was. I…I…" 

"Kenma, look at me." Kuroo said calmly. Kenma slowly looked up, tears still streaming down his face. 

"You don't have to struggle alone, it's okay to open up, I promise. I won't look at you any differently. Let me help you." He said. Kuroo wanted nothing more than to sit there and cry with him, but he knew he had to stay calm, it'll help him get through it easier. 

That's when Kenma broke. He let out all the emotions he'd been bottling inside his mind. 

"I fucking hate myself, Kuro. I hate how quiet, awkward, and anti-social I am. I hate that I feel stupid even if I'm getting near perfect test scores. I hate that little voice that's in my head, telling me to hurt myself and kill myself and I just want it to stop. I hate that every little thing triggers me, I hate everything about myself. I…I never wanted you to see this side of me, I never wanted you to worry about me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry…" He spilled out all of his feelings and then apologized over and over again. Kuroo let him get it out of his system for a few minutes, still holding him, before interrupting. 

"You have nothing to apologize for, Kenma. That's why I'm here, that's why we're friends. We help each other through these things, alright. Let's get you, and the bathroom, cleaned up and then go back to playing our game. I'm sorry I pushed for you to open up, I shouldn't have." Kuroo apologized. 

"It's…it's fine. You were bound to find out at some point." Kenma said, wiping his tears away. 

They cleaned and bandaged the fresh cuts on Kenma's arms and then cleaned up the bathroom. Kuroo did most of it, insisting that Kenma go back out to the living room to relax and distract himself. 

When Kuroo came out, he grabbed his controller and started playing again. 

Kenma was still quieter than usual, but Kuroo let it be. He filled the silence with his own talking, knowing Kenma would respond. That's how they spent the rest of the night, sitting in front of Kenma's TV with a game turned on.