Haikyu!! Oneshots

[Drugs and Cuts - 👥️⚠️]

👥️ - Platonic KuroKen
⚠️ - Heavy Angst
- Drugs
- Alcohol
- Self harm and suicide mentions

******************

Kuroo was never the kind of guy to open up about how he was feeling. He was always told that boys were supposed to hold their heads high in the middle of a storm, that boys don't get sad, they don't cry. 

What no one told him though was that living life this way would eventually cause a person to break. 

He knew he had to talk to someone, but years of being told he couldn't made him hesitant and a bit ashamed of it. 

At one point in his life, he'd started self harming and using all kinds of drugs and drinking; anything to numb the pain. No one except him, his dealers, and the random strangers at the bars he went to knew about any of it. Even his best friend, Kenma, knew nothing about it. 

Until one random day, Kenma had come over just as a surprise for Kuroo. It had been a while since the two had hung out, their adult lives taking up a good majority of their time. 

Kuroo wasn't expecting him, so he sat in his living room in shorts and a t-shirt taking shots of straight vodka and doing lines of cocaine off the coffee table. 

Kenma, having a spare key to his house, walked right in how he always does. Except this time, instead of walking in on Kuroo playing a game or finishing up work stuff, he walked in on Kuroo being drunk and high out of his mind and seeing his arms littered with scars and nearly fresh cuts. 

"K-Kuro?" Kenma blinked a few times, confused and extremely concerned for his best friend. Kuroo looked up, mid line, in terror. 

"Kenma…" 

"What's…what's wrong?" Kenma sat down beside Kuroo on the floor. No judgment, no yelling, no telling him that he has himself into some bad habits. All Kenma wanted was to get Kuroo to open up to him. He knew Kuroo better than anyone, he knew he was running from a problem bigger than either of them could solve alone. 

"I don't wanna talk about it." Kuroo said before taking another shot. He wanted to reply with 'nothing', but he knew Kenma wouldn't believe that and just push harder. 

"Fine. For now, put this shit away. You're fucked up enough." Kenma said. Kuroo would've been at this all night if Kenma didn't barge in, so obviously he didn't want to put any of it away. Even so, he did as Kenma said, stumbling around as he did so before sitting down on the couch that Kenma had moved onto. Kuroo leaned back and stared at the ceiling, not knowing what to say or do. 

"What can I do to help?" Kenma asked. Kuroo just shook his head before moving, leaning his head on Kenma. The fun, happy, upbeat feelings the substances had on him before had gone away, and now they were amplifying all the negative emotions in his mind. It only made him want to get more fucked up than he already was or cut again, even though he'd already cut earlier that day. 

"Talk to me, Kuro. I can see it in your eyes, something is hurting you, and bad." Kenma wrapped an arm around Kuroo. 

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you. I've always been the chaotic, crazy, happy one."

"We all have our rough patches, even those kinds of people." 

"Not bad enough that they want to die." He looked down at his cut up arms. 

"We're some of those…" Kenma couldn't finish the sentence. 

"Yes and no. I wanted to, I tried. I couldn't bring myself to cut deep enough." 

"What made you start everything?" 

"A lot of things. Graduating high school put me in a spot where I felt like I was lost, and didn't know what to do with my life. Graduating college, same thing but way more intense. Even now, I'm working but I'm not sure it's where I'm meant to be. A few messy breakups I've hidden from you, and everyone else in my life. I always feel so drained, and the drugs help with that a bit. Alcohol and cutting just seem to take the mental pain away more. Cutting is such an amazing physical release somehow, and drinking till I'm so drunk I can't think about my issues…not the healthiest, but…" 

"Why haven't you ever come to me? You know I wouldn't ever judge you." 

"I was still ashamed, even knowing that. Boys don't have feelings, you know that." Kuroo gave a sarcastic chuckle. 

"God no, Kuro, that's not true. Who put that in your head?" 

"Just about every parent, teacher, teammate, and school counselor I've ever met." Kuroo gave another small laugh, almost finding it funny that nearly the entire human race thinks the same way. 

"I need you to promise me, you'll call me to come over if you need help. I'll help you through this. I got you. Always have, always will." 

"I can't promise that. Sometimes it's very impulsive. I spiral at such random times and zone out, and next thing I know I'm covered in blood, doing lines or popping pills, or pouring shot after shot." 

"Then I'm staying over for a while…I just want to help you. Please, let me go through and get rid of the drugs, alcohol, and blades." Kenma asked. Kuroo was hesitant, knowing it was going to be extremely difficult to stop doing all three on a whim like that, but he agreed. As soon as he gave Kenma the OK to do so, he started going through drawers and cabinets, tossing out powders and pills, dumping out all the alcohol, and snatching away any kind of blade that was in the house. It took around an hour and a half to get everything, and he wasn't even sure he got it all. 

By the time Kenma had finished, Kuroo was fast asleep on the couch. Kenma covered him up with a blanket and then got himself situated on the recliner for the night.