yall ik i posted a few hours ago but nothing is stopping me from posting again lmaooo
_________________________
jimmy: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness—
wolf: Hi.
jimmy: *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*
_________________________
jimmy: You're drunk.
wolf: Correction: drinking. Present tense. Grammar, jimmy.
_________________________
jimmy: How would you like to live forever?
wolf: I'd hate it. Shut the fuck up.
_________________________
wolf: BE A BETTER PERSON!
jimmy: WHY?!
wolf: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!
_________________________
jimmy: Do you want a drink?
wolf: I could go for some appy slices right now.
jimmy: With a little peanut butter to dip them in?
wolf: FUCKING OF COURSE I WANT PEANUT BUTTER JIMMY!
_________________________
wolf: You know what I asked Santa for Christmas this year?
jimmy: If you say me, I swear I'll—
wolf: You? What? No, I asked him for that cool Ninjago Lego set we saw in Target!
_________________________
jimmy: Hey guys, today wolf pushed me, so I'm starting a kickstarter to put himm down.
jimmy: The benefits of killing him are that I would get pushed way less.
_________________________
jimmy: You got a date yet wolf?
wolf: No...
jimmy: Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!
_________________________
wolf: Did you know spiders can hold 8 guns at once?
jimmy: How does it WALK??
wolf:
wolf: Did you know spiders can hold 7 guns at once?
_________________________
wolf, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy.
jimmy: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.
_________________________
jimmy: look wolf, I'm not slut shaming you but...
jimmy: Actually yeah, I'm TOTALLY slut shaming you.
_________________________
jimmy: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn't anyone around to help you? What if it's congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?
wolf: ...You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?
_________________________
jimmy: Stop doing that.
wolf: Stop doing what?
jimmy: Saying things that make me wanna kiss the hell out of you.
_________________________
wolf: I'm tired.
jimmy: You slept for three hours last night! Why are you surprised?!
wolf: I'm not surprised. I just wanted to complain about it.
_________________________
wolf, turning to jimmy: Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you can turn on is the microwave.
_________________________
jimmy: Can you PLEASE peer pressure me into doing my project?
wolf: Do it or you're straight.
jimmy: I said peer pressure, NOT THREATEN!
_________________________
i couldn't be bothered to make this longer- also i saw a picture of hayden and got scared
(i also got scared by my bedroom door but we will ignore that)
