wolf: Have I ever told you that you cook well?
jimmy: Awww, no, you haven't!
wolf: So why do you keep cooking?
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wolf: Not to be nsfw but I want someone to hold me while I sleep.
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wolf: I don't mean to be rude—
jimmy: Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often.
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wolf: Alcohol is delicious! ...I mean, MAlicious. Sorry guys, I'm really drunk right now.
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wolf: Remember that time you dared me to lick a swingset?
jimmy: No, I said "wolf, don't lick that swingset" and you said "Don't tell me what to do" and licked the swingset.
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jimmy: Can I bother you for a second?
wolf: You're always bothering me, but go ahead.
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wolf: *sees someone doing something stupid
* wolf: What an idiot.
wolf: *realizes it's jimmy*
wolf: Wait, that's MY idiot!
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wolf, furious: What do you mean we have homework tonight? I have books to read.
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jimmy: I hope they've calmed down...
wolf: Shut the fuck up you annoying ass pig.
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jimmy: I can't believe you've done this.....
wolf: I'm sorry I didn't know-!
jimmy, on the verge of tears: YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE ASSHOLE!
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wolf: I can never give jimmy shit because I'm jealous of them. They look at their life and say, "Sweet! This is perfect!"
wolf: I look at my life and say, "Welp. Time to get drunk."
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wolf: I feel so burnt out.
jimmy: Don't worry, it'll be over soon.
wolf: Are you gonna... assassinate me?
jimmy: Well not if you're expecting it.
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jimmy: I just drank a lego piece.
wolf: ...what the hell?! You melted plastic and drank the liquid?
jimmy: Yes.
wolf: Why did you even melt a lego in the first place?!
jimmy: Because it looked like chocolate! So I drank it! You know, like a chocolate shake?
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wolf: I will send my army to attack!
wolf: *releases a dumpster of raccoons*
