Bucket List [Yoonmin]

43.

Yoongi scrolled through his instagram account nonchalantly. He wondered why he decided to download the app on his phone because now that's all he did throughout the day.

It was something that would keep his mind off things. Something that caught his attention span so he wouldn't mope around.

He had started working on himself. At least that's what he thought. In the last week, he'd picked yoga as a form of meditating. Hoseok came almost everyday to meditate with him.

He swore it did wonders for him so Yoongi figured it didn't hurt to try it out. Hoseok seemed to be a professional at it considering he'd been doing it for months.

Yoongi found it hard to find his 'inner peace'. The nagging voice in his head wouldn't shut up making it hard to relax.

Overall, despite getting episodes of undeniable sadness he was physically okay. He had a follow up with Dr. Choi a couple of days after Christmas.

He was told he was doing great and to return the following month. He was supposed to have monthly follow ups until further notice.

Yoongi was still editing YouTube videos and looking into possible career choices. For sure he knew he wanted to do something with computers.

That was something to look forward to. Jimin messaged him Christmas Day. A day after he confessed how he truly felt. It was an awkward conversation to say the least. Even their text message interactions felt forced.

Upon scrolling through his feed, he saw several pictures from Hoseok, Jin and Jeongyeon. His friend list was small.

Every time he came across a picture posted by his friends, his heart ached a little. It was as if everyone else was moving on except him.

It had only been a week, but to him it had felt eternal. It's not that he wanted everyone around him to be miserable, no that wasn't the case. It was the fact that he was so miserable he couldn't share the joy of seeing anyone else happy.

When his feed started getting repetitive, an intrusive thought crossed his mind. He reluctantly searched Chanyeol's instagram profile and held his breath. He'd posted recently on December 24th.

The picture was of a huge Christmas tree with gorgeous lights and spheres. His caption said, "had a great time!!"

He expected Jimin to be tagged, but he was not. He had over fifty likes and over fifteen comments. His curiosity got the best of him so he decided to read through them.

Why was he torturing himself? Why did he want to find Jimin's comment hidden somewhere? Was this not already painful enough?

Jimin hadn't commented, but he had liked it. Before he could stop himself he clicked his profile too. His heart stupidly raced after seeing his pictures through his phone screen. The most recent was posted in November.

He was smiling and had a thick red scarf wrapped around him. His chocolate brown hair was messy but styled and his cheeks rosy red from what he assumed was the harsh cold wind.

After scrolling through his pictures—that he'd seen over a hundred times—he groaned, throwing his phone across the room.

He found himself moping on his pillow in the darkness. His parents were already asleep. They had wanted him to attend Jeongyeon's New Year's party, but he wasn't in the mood.

Although they weren't trying to touch on the subject, his parents knew something was wrong. He appreciated the privacy they were giving him.

When his phone suddenly went off, he sat up. He instantly crawled out of bed tripping over an Amazon package he hadn't opened yet. Turns out online shopping was a bit addicting.