PROMISES - LIES - REGRETS

Trapped

~Don't ever think that everyone who leaves wants to.~

Darkness is consuming me slowly, i don't know if i am really dead or the voices i am hearing is just my fucked up mental illness

How can i hear Mickeys and Ian's light snores but all i can see is darkness, with the occasional flashback. Is this what death feels like?

If it is it's the worse feeling ever, i can still feel pain, hear everything but i just can't see, i can't move or even talk anymore.

I am slowly loosing my mind, i just wish i could get out of this.

"Rory?" Mickey walked over to my 'lifeless' body

"Aurora?" Ian shouted as he panicked

"HELP." Mickey screamed

Why did i need help? What was happening?

"Everyone leave now." The nurse ordered, i felt her touch my neck i guess to look for a pulse

"pulse is dropping." The other doctor pointed to the screen

Fuck i was really dying this time, i felt my breathing slow down, the air around me begun to get thicker. Why couldn't i take it in anymore

"We need a mask." The nurse shouted, as she put an oxogen mask on my face

"Come on Rory, pull through." The nurse continued "Aurora breathe."

I took a deep breathe, trying to stop my body from fighting the oxygen that was being pumped into my body. I felt like someone was suffocating me

"We have a pulse." I felt the doctors happiness as the continued to push the mask on me

"What the fuck happened?" Mickey asked

"She had a cardiac arrest, it's her body's way of dealing with the trauma that it has gone through." The doctor explained

"Will she wake up?" Ian asked through watery eyes

"We never know but we hope so." She gave a faint smile

"Thank you." Mickey smiled back

"I'm going to call the gallaghers." Mickey told his fiancé

"It's been 2 weeks she needs to wake up." Ian shouted

"Shh it's okay." Mickey comforted him

"I hate this." He sobbed into mickeys hair

"Me to."

I'm right here, please see that i'm here

Before all of this happened i didn't realise that life was more then just waking up and falling asleep, going to work and going home.

It is so much more then that, there is love, danger and excitement. You don't see them things or you take them for granted in-till your lying on your death bed

Death is so much more then the end of your life, it helps you see things that you have never seen before. Fuck i wish i never attempted, i regret everything that had happened

Hearing your family hurt but not being able to do anything about it. I just want to open my eyes why can't i fucking open my eyes?

"She's awake." a boy  pointed over as i opened my eyes

Everything was blurry but i could make out each figure, i had finally forced my eyes open after many attempts.

"Hey Aurora."Another man smiled as he grabbed my hand

I panicked as i had never seen them before, my heart rate slowley started to quicken. I couldn't breathe

I really couldn't breathe

I tried to gasp for air but the tube in my throat was suffocating me, stopping me from breathing yet again

"Somethings wrong with her."

My eyes scanned across the room, everything was moving in slow motion. I couldn't stop it from happening, the world was a weird fucking place

My skin turned even paler then before, my eyes which were once a bright blue color, turned to a dark grey

"Aurora." A doctor said to me but i couldn't focus on him but only the world around me

Everything was so fucking blurry, it was like i was high off my own mind.

I can't do this, im sick of it. Why did it have to end like this for me

"Do something." The man from before shouted, i recognised hun from somewhere i just couldn't make out who he was

There was a prick in my arm which instantly made the sleepy feeling i always feel when i'm manic take over me. I wasn't manic i though i was in pain

It was a sedative, i have only just opened my eyes why have they forced me to close them again.

I was trapped in my own thought again, just like i have been for the last 2 weeks.