This Is, Love (GxG)

Chapter 38

Durog na durog na ang puso kong makita siyang umiiyak at nasasaktan dahil sa nangyari. Gusto ko siyang yakapin at punasan ang mga luhang patuloy na pumapatak sa mga magaganda niyang mata. Ngunit hindi niya ako pinapakinggan at patuloy lang sa paglayo sa akin na animo'y may kung anong virus ang meron ako.

Masakit.

This is what terrifies me, someone I love and cherish leaving me. Again.

I don't want her to leave me. Not with that kind of reason. I swear to god, I didn't want that to happen. And hell, I feel terrible to let that happen because of my wishful thinking.

I cried. My heart just left me. She left.

My love, I'm sorry. You're so precious to me that I thought I did my best to hold you delicately but here I am, I hurt you and it hurts me too, dreadfully.

My knees touched the ground as I held my chest that's now tightening. My eyes are blurry with tears as soon as I couldn't afford to see her.

"Couz! Oh my god!" Naramdaman ko na lang bigla ang mahigpit na pagyakap sa akin ni Nervana. "Sshh..." Nakatago ang aking mukha sa kanyang dibdib habang hinahaplos ako nito sa likod at ulo para patahanin.

Kumapit ako lalo nang mahigpit sa laylayan ng damit niya at lalong umiyak.

Ano Lovely? Iiyak ka na lang ba dyan? Wala kang kwenta.

"I hurt her, Van. I didn't know-"

"I know, Couz. I'm sorry that it happened. Do you want me to talk to that dickhead? Or do you want me to kick him out of this University?"

Umiling ako. "I just want her. I want to go and apologize to her. I want her. I just want her right now..."

Ramdam ko ang malalim na paghinga nito at hinawakan na ako nito sa magkabilang balikat para makita ang itsura ko ngunit yumuko lang ako at nagpatuloy sa pag iyak.

"Okay, we'll go to her."

Napaangat agad ang aking ulo at tumingin sa kanya nang nangungusap.

"Come on, get your shit together, Couz. Ayokong nakikita kang ganyan. Para sayo lang siya kaya puntahan na natin ang girlfriend mo." She tapped me on my shoulders after and then gave me a reassuring smile.

"But what if she doesn't want to talk to me? I know her, if she's upset, she wants to be alone and-"

"Tsss. Not tonight! She's YOUR GIRLFRIEND now. You both should fix this together. Hindi pwedeng lagi na lang siya aalis kapag may problema kayo. Aba, malilintikan siya sakin!"

"Van,"

"Excuse me, Couz ha. But I won't tolerate her attitude when you're the one who's hurting."

"She's hurting too,"

"Sshhhut up, Couz. She didn't give you a chance to explain, that's a little nah. Kaya halika na, para maabutan pa natin sila."

Bumuntong hininga ulit ako. I hope she'll talk to me.

Tinulungan ako ni Nervana na makatayong muli at pinagpagan ko agad ang tuhod ko at sumunod sa kanya papunta sa sasakyan niya.

Nang makapasok kami at mai-start niya ang engine ng sasakyan ay nagtanong akong muli. "Are we really going after her? What if she gets mad at me even more-Van!"

Muntik lang naman akong mauntog sa dashboard dahil biglaan niyang inandar yung sasakyan niya at hindi pa ako nakakapagseatbelt!

She laughs at me. "It's now or never, Couz. Baka nakakalimutan mong she's with Lewis right now. The last species I never thought she would choose to go with."