Restricted // Sebastian Sallow

Twenty One

Y/n's POV

The sound of Sebastian's gentle voice softly echoing through the hospital wing was a stark contrast to the harsh, cold demeanor he had displayed toward Lucian and me in the great hall. As I lay in my hospital bed, hurt, lost, and confused, his words in the letter almost seemed foreign to me. It was if he was a completely different person, and that contrast only served to exacerbate my confusion.

A faint flicker of anger sparked in my heart at the thought of what Sebastian had done to me in the Great Hall, but it was quickly drowned out by my overwhelming emotions.

Okay Y/n say something, anything.

Swallowing my feelings while slightly wiping away the tears that remained on my face I managed to whisper, "Hello Sebastian."

He stood in the doorway of the hospital wing, his emotions palpable as he stood still with his hands clasped behind his back. The guilt that hung over him like a cloud seemed to grow with each step that brought him closer to the bed I was lying in.

As he neared, I watched as his gaze remained fixed on the floor, his expression unchanged. It was almost as if he couldn't bring himself to look at me. His hesitance filled me with a sense of unease, the weight of guilt becoming more evident the longer he stood there.

Choking on his own words he said, "How are you feeling Y/n?" 

Can we start with what I am not feeling?

"Oh...I'm doing alright, Nurse Blainey gave me some pain relief potions so that's helping and-" Sebastian cut me off mid-sentence.

"Im sorry, Y/n."

"W-what...?"  I mumbled while I played with my fingers.

"I'm sorry, I am so fucking sorry for hurting you Y/n. I shouldn't have even begun that duel with Lucian in the first place..." He trailed off while he looked in the distance.

Still feeling the pain from Sebastian's spell, I felt a wave of resentment wash over me. I couldn't deny the feelings that were slowly creeping up on me. I couldn't help but feel empathy towards Sebastian, and for a moment, his sadness seemed to melt away some of my anger.

I could see the pain within his eyes.  The regret seeped off of him.  My hands began to tremble as I held the note he left me. The note he poured his heart and soul into.

A momentary silence fell between us as our eyes locked, a flood of feelings crashing down over me.
His remorseful hazel eyes stared at me, their depth seeming to cut right through to my very soul. For a brief moment, I thought I even saw him look at me with desire... a look he had never shown me during our entire friendship.

Suddenly, I was startled from my daze, the images from earlier playing in my head. I quickly averted my gaze, trying to block out the emotions stirring in my heart.

"Sebastian, can I ask you something?" I asked in a confused manner.

He looked up at me, and I could see his expression soften.
"Anything, Y/n," Sebastian said, in a quiet and sincere tone of voice.

"Why did you react that way? When you found out that I... that I slept up with Lucian," The words coming out as a barely audible whisper.

Sebastian stayed silent for a moment, and his eyes seemed to fill with regret. "I'm so, so sorry Y/N. You have no idea how much I'm hurting right now...I can't even tell you why."  He sighed before continuing. "Things have been complicated for me.  Adelaide is...just a friend and for some reason, seeing you and Lucian together...It made me...Jealous and worried."