Love Me | MarkNoHyuckMin

Facts :)

My only way of even attempting to deal with things is writing so of course someone needs to have the main issues, but I also wrote Haechans character to give me hope. I made him just like me but he has the things I want. He moves out, gets far away from his mother, has a job that doesn't freak him the fuck out every time he goes there, can actually go to therapy if he wants to, has a support system/people who love him endlessly and are willing to stand up for him and protect him. He's free in a way that I want to be

Jisung - I never actually say anything directly in the book, I just hint things enough for you to know that he struggles a lot with his mental health, experiences anxiety, and his family sucks

What Jisung goes through is what I go through when my mental health is low and though his character handles things much better than I do, the struggles and sensitivity are still similar. I was going somewhere with this but I took a break and now I can't remember the rest of my explanation. 

I decided on a whim to make his family suck and obviously I'm never done projecting my feelings. I'm aware that it might seem out of nowhere since everything seemed fine in chapter 78 or 79 (wherever they first appear), but the way everything like switches and kinda floods to the surface in chapter 90 or whatever it is, is kind of how I am with my family. From experience, my parents never talk about anything, they don't understand and have refused for a while. My dad made a tiny bit of progress recently but that's basically all I got from them. Mental struggles are basically unheard of to them and they just dismiss everything. 

And the sibling thing of course. Just like how Jiho was Jisungs terror, my brothers are sometimes mine and they aren't the best to me but nothing really happens. I would be in so much trouble if I treated them the way they treat me and my mother thinks I'm being mean or dramatic when I complain about it. And the favoritism is so strong with both of my parents. My dad is closer to a fair parent but he still shows favoritism towards my little brother, whereas my mom just lets both kinda be however and admitted to being tough on me. There's a lot of hidden complaints (well some might be direct)

Renjun - There's not much with him, just a few things that weren't actually that intentional. Being a fashion designer, not having freedom to be himself in this family, and being a book lover. Also confidence.

I wanted to be a fashion designer when I was younger and honestly, it's not off the table now because I'd love to make size inclusive clothing that I think is actually cute and I think all designers should strive to be size inclusive so Renjun is one of those people. I basically added this in just because I could but I think it fits his character. I don't really think I need to explain the second thing. Or the third. 

I personally don't have that much confidence, I would never be as bold as Renjun is at least in real life and I kind of just wanted a character who's different me and also somebody I'd kind of like to be. I think Renjun is so fun and great. I also find him very human. They all are but I kind of like the mistakes and the not knowing what he's doing and the trying to fix it and doubting and wondering what's best. I'm biased but I find him great despite that and I just love that.

Everyone else - I just kind of did things without thought. I'll say that I find Johnny to be very sweet and loving, Jaehyun is calm and like one of those people who pretend they hate everything but actually don't, Taeil is observant and somebody you could go to for comfort and just very laid-back. These are what immediately come to mind. Let me know if you'd add anything or disagree or what you think about others

2. It's never stated directly and you just have Johnnys feelings for Mark and Jaehyun to go off of but he's also whatever term means you could be in a committed relationship with one person or more and it makes no difference to you