Love Me | MarkNoHyuckMin

chapter seventy four

Haechan🥰

Jaemin
Hey, Cookie?

Haechan🥰
Yes, Baby?

Jaemin
I'm ready to talk if you are
And either way, I want you to know
that I really fucking miss you and I
love you
My feelings haven't changed

Haechan🥰
I miss you too
So much
Please let me see you
Please

Jaemin
I'll be there soon, okay?
I love you

Haechan🥰
I love you too

Right as Jaemin knocks, the door flings open and then Haechans arms around him, holding him tighter than he ever has before. "Please", his body trembles. "Please, never leave me again. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't go."

Jaemin stands there, shocked. He never knew that his absence would make the brunet miss him so much. Maybe it's mean, but he likes that he can see how much the male cares about him. (Even if it wasn't ideal for either of them.)

He waddles them inside the apartment and he locks the door before moving them to the couch. When he sits down, Haechan is practically in his lap, but he doesn't mind. Seeming to understand that, Haechan fully moves onto his lap, his grip on Jaemin never loosening. His face stays buried in the crook of Jaemins neck while he continues to cry and relish in the feeling of hugging Jaemin.

"Haechan?" Jaemin says softly.

Afraid he's gonna make him pull away, the brunet shakes his head and only holds Jaemin tighter. He can't stop the tears that fall, feeling too many things, mostly of joy he doesn't deserve. The two stay like that, not speaking, not needing to yet.

It's not until Haechan calms down that one of them speaks again. He creates the smallest possible distance between them so he can look at Jaemins face. "We can talk now."

"Are you sure?"

He nods. "I think we need to."

"Can I go first?" He nods again. Jaemin takes a few seconds to organize his thoughts, trying to figure out where to start.  "I...love you. And if you tell me you love me, then I believe you. But that doesn't mean I understand it. You really hurt me. Everyone did, but I can't forget you. I've felt...a conflict of sorts ever since I started liking you. Because I never thought we'd up like this. I imagined something like this but I didn't think it would ever be close to becoming real. Everything that happens goes straight to my heart and my head and I can't ignore it. I'm always gonna remember these things. But Haechan, I really don't understand because I wanna know how you seemed so far from loving me then to you loving me now." Haechan opens his mouth to speak but instantly shuts it when Jaemin starts talking again. "I don't understand how people love me. I hated how you treated me but your reaction is the only one that makes sense. One of the reasons I got so upset is because there's part of me that's convinced that if you don't feel the same way right now, then you never will." He pauses. "I'm done."

Haechan shakes his head. "I'm so, so sorry. I really hate myself for hurting you. I should have tried to understand you, but I didn't and I'm not sure why I didn't try to be friends with you but I really regret that I didn't. And you're not wrong, I never thought I'd love you this much." Jaemins eyes widen. "But I don't think I'll ever be able to stop. I started caring about you before I could even understand that. I was so confused in high school and I was determined not to admit it. But every moment we had got to me. And you probably don't know this, unless Jisung told you, but I was protective of you too. I was a hypocrite, 'cause I wasn't all too friendly with you but I hated hearing anyone else talk about you. It's not just because I didn't have feelings for him that me and Jisung never become more than friends, it was because I was starting to like you."