Juliet
______________
It had taken everything in me not to crawl back pathetically to Bucky's room, but the time I'd spent hoping I'd hear him knock on my door made me feel pathetic enough that I may as well have just done it. But I'd finally managed to sleep, but it was of course, just filled with more pain and confusion.
"Please don't take me back." Juliet mumbled in my arms, and something snapped, I was fully back and I knew I couldn't take her back into that hell. I wasn't in and out clinging to who I was as he forced me to watch, looking at her and hearing her weak voice pulled me all the way back to my body again.
She needed a hospital and she needed to get out of this place forever.
I couldn't do much, and I wouldn't be able to get far myself but I could get her out.
"I'm not going to take you back, I promise." I mumbled, teeth clenched as I kept him back.
"Soldier, how long, we need to get her sorted and stored." The voice in my ear made me flinch.
"Ten minutes." I confirmed before veering in the opposite direction.
I had ten minutes to get far enough away, just to get out of their range.
"Good work Solider."
The word soldier rang in my head, a pain splitting behind my eyes.
My pace slowed without my consent, Juliet started to feel heavy in my arms.
She'd passed out and I was grateful she hadn't heard my promise that I could feel I was about to break.
"Soldier." The agent said again, and he was back.
I lost control of my movements again, he stopped, turned back towards their base and started his agonisingly slow pace back.
I tried, I needed to stop this, he stumbled just a step but continued as if he hadn't.
No.
I couldn't do it, I couldn't get back again.
"That was longer than ten minutes." He placed Juliet on the gurney waiting for her, two agents wheeled the gurney away, as I caught a last look at her retreating broken figure I pushed a step towards her, the agent gasped, drawing my attention back to him.
"Soldier." He stepped back for whatever he saw behind my eyes, his eyes. Mine were gone again, taken away with Juliet's broken and bloody body. I needed to know she'd be okay, I needed to help.
"You're not The Winter Soldier anymore." He spoke in Russian, his voice shaky even to the soldiers ears.
"No." I tilted my head, trying to intimate him further, he tried to stop me, but I did it.
Before I could do more, agents pulled me down, my head hit the floor and he wouldn't let me fight back anymore, and the familiar feeling of an injection to the neck was the last thing I felt as I fought against him, against the black fog.
When I woke up, I could feel the fear, not only my own but Bucky's too, it wrapped itself around my body in a dark film that almost made me choke.
It presented as a physical pain in my chest, the pain of what Bucky was feeling in that moment, his pain now, my own pain at seeing myself that way again, the pain that Bucky had tried to help me, he'd been him and he'd been so close, and he had tried.
I'd blamed him for years, blamed him for taking me back, blamed him for all the pain I'd been faced with, blamed him because he was the only personal physically left for me to blame and he hadn't fought it, he hadn't corrected me, he had been there but he'd been trying to help.
