The Shadows Have No Face || 𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐑

You're Mine

Content Warning: smut. 

could be considered graphic depending on what you consider graphic

~)(~

I wandered to my bedroom once the sun finally set over the horizon, finding my suitcases on the bed. I unpacked and put on my nightgown, now regretting the thin—almost sheer fabric. It was colder than I expected here at night. Miryam's necklace hung around my neck, with the cold key resting under the top of my nightgown. It was the only key to that door and the only way I could stay sane enough to get any form of sleep.

I brushed out my hair and let it lay loose across my back before I washed my face in the bathroom sink with cold water. I hoped the shock of cold would take my mind off the fact that the Cauldron was sitting just below me. The building felt alive, with a million eyes hidden in the walls, watching me like an animal in an exhibit.

I wanted an escape. I wanted something that could remove that thing from my mind forever. A barrier between us. Something—anything.

Sitting cross-legged on the bed, I flipped and skimmed through a random book plucked from a shelf filled with the expected books for a guest room. It was about astrology—I think. I snacked on a bag of caramel-coated nuts with every page turned. The sugar kept me awake, and the eating kept the anxiety at a manageable level.

The idea of sleep was a nightmare in itself. All the fears were at their peak now, and I thought that if I stayed awake all night, I could somehow prevent the inevitable. Of course, I knew it was a stupid thought, and yet I still tried to stay awake, still tried to stay alert enough to hear everything.

There was a knock at the door, which made me freeze. There was only one person left in this house besides me. It was empty of servants or caretakers. So only one person was behind that door when I opened it. Azriel. His hair had fallen to his eyes, and he was looking at me with this darkness that made my throat dry.

His eyes flicked down to my nightgown before rising to my eyes again. I crossed my arms and tried not to seem like I noticed it.

"Can I come in?" He asked, a brow raised.

I nodded and stepped out of the way so he could enter and close the door behind him. "What are you doing here?" I asked, tilting my head.

He cleared his throat. "I wanted to check in on you. The Cauldron looked like it frightened you earlier."

The tenseness in my muscles left. He was worried about me. That made my heart ache a little, which caused red to slide up my neck to my cheeks. I let myself smile at him.

"I'm fine, really. It was just... I didn't expect it to feel like it did, you know?"

He nodded. "I do. The last time I felt power like that... was when the king almost killed me." I remember hearing about that failed mission years ago. When Feyre's sisters were Made.

"Was it... frightening?" I don't know why I asked, but there was an urge to. An urge to just talk to him—to hear him speak.

He took a deep breath and said, "At first. I think it always is. But then for a few hours—days, even, you kind of forget it happened. But then that... that thing happens when you realize you were close to death, the mortality kicks in and it all gets... confusing."

I nodded. "Yeah... I think I've been stuck in that forgetting stage."

He smiled slightly. "Me too."

Another one of those stretches of silence fell. The one that never felt like quiet, but like a pause. Where a minute felt like a second, an hour merely a few more seconds. It wasn't awkward, or uncomfortable, just there. Just a breath... a pause.