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Signs

I'm met with the smell of books and pumpkin the second I walk through the double doors. The library is nearly empty; the sign reads it closes at four. A woman browses the chidren's section with her two girls, and a middle aged man in on a computer. Leslie is seated behind the high front desk, her blue hair shining in the florescent lights, deeply engrossed in a book. She glances up when I walk in, then goes back to reading.

"Let me know if I can-" she murmurs, then looks up again. Her eyes widen, and her mouth forms a perfect O. "Oh my God, Sawyer!" Her voice echoes off the books, and earns us a nasty look from the middle aged man. She stands and starts around the desk, nearly tripping over an extension cord, and comes to me. "Your hair!" she whisper-screams, and touches a wave near my face.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it!" She forgets to lower her voice, and I see the man roll his eyes out of the corner of mine. "What made you change it?" she asks, lowering her voice to a library-acceptable volume.

"I just needed a change," I shrug.

Leslie nods. "Well, it is Fall," she says serenely. "Do you like to read?"

"I do."

"Perfect. Let's get you hooked up with a library card."

**********
An hour and a half later, I leave the library, armed with a couple of books and a promise to do lunch with Leslie tomorrow. For the first time in a very long time, I'm wearing a genuine smile. The leaves are pretty, I have a new look, and a handsome man waits for me back at the motel. I could skip all the way back to the room.

I pop into a small cafe for an iced latte. Now that I know just how good food tastes, I want to see how much I'll enjoy my favorite drink. The barista doesn't look up when I walk into the empty cafe. He's slumped over the counter, an Airpod visible, and looks like he'd rather be anywhere else. Jet black bangs cover one green eye. He jumps when he notices me in front of him.

He removes the Airpod and asks, "What can I do for you?" His tone suggests he doesn't want to do anything, for me or for anyone else.

"Hi, I say brightly, ignoring his mood. "I'd like one large caramel latte, iced."

"It'll be just a minute. Name?"

"E-Sawyer."

The barista looks at me, flicking his bangs back to reveal a brown eye. "You look kinda familiar," he says. "You're not from around here, though, are you?"

Butterflies fill my stomach. I shake my head. "No, I'm new in town." I'm so thankful my voice doesn't waver.

"Must have you confused for someone else," he says. "That'll be seven eighty-five."

I hand him the change with a shaky hand. He doesn't know Eden, I tell myself as he turns away to make my drink. He's seen someone in town that looks like Sawyer. That's all. Still, I can't shake the odd feeling in the pit of my stomach.

**********

Cal is in a good mood when I step in the door. I watch him look me over with wide eyes once, then twice, before he steps over to me and buries his face in my tresses. "Sawyer," he breathes into my hair. "I love it."

My smile widens. "Thanks. You know, I'm getting used to being Sawyer."

Cal pulls away from me. "What do you mean?"

"I mean before, it just sounded...I don't know. Foreign? Like I was still myself, still Eden, and Sawyer was just a name. But today, I feel like Sawyer." I shake my head and laugh. "It's hard to explain."

He laughs, then walks over to the desk. "Well, I got this," he says, and pulls a box from a bag on the table. "Men's hair dye. Will you still love me when my hair is-" he consults the box "-midnight?"