Not Your Cinderella

Chapter 6 - Part 1: Someone Else's Story

However Jess had imagined making love in dappled sunlight on a gorgeous late summer day might be, today's experience hadn't been it. And, as she sat at the dressing table in her room putting the sparkly studs from Claire's in her ears, she tried to remember where she had come by more romantic notions of what sex outside was like. She was sure none of the films she'd watched or books she'd read had mentioned being gouged by snapped branches or the violent caress of nettles as they stung a burning line across your calf. The rash that now snaked its way up her leg, burned and prickled just has sharply now.

Jess hadn't intended experimentation when she'd initiated sex in the woods, but on reflection, she considered her first experience of it to have been a failure. It had ended happily for only one of them, and it hadn't been her. She'd assured Felix that the whole thing was exciting enough without the need for anything more climactic on her part. That was a kind lie.

She lifted her long dress and inspected the rash. Her heels were strappy and rubbed at the lower stings. They hurt. They hurt more because they were evidence that she'd been sold a lie. The stories she'd consumed one way or another had been exactly what they were—fiction. But, like a true rationalist, she'd decided she'd need more evidence before she'd draw further conclusions, even though the prospect no longer held any mystique.

There was also the tang of disappointment that her reunion with Felix hadn't been completely perfect. But then her nearly twenty years of life had taught her that disappointments were to be expected, and nothing—nothing—was ever perfect.

She replayed the rest of the afternoon in her mind as she fixed her hair.

They had walked a circuit through the woods and out into the village. They'd passed a pub called the Wollestone Arms and Felix had said he'd take her for a pint next time she came. When they'd ambled up to a little church called 'St Mary, The Virgin', Jess had stopped Felix at the lychgate and joked that neither of them would be allowed inside, considering what they'd just been up to in the woods. Felix's surprised bark of laughter realigned something Jess hadn't realised had been thrown off. He slung his arm around her shoulders and she'd wound one of hers around his waist, and they'd sauntered back along the drive like that, chatting easily about what they saw along the way.

Felix had steered her to the west side of the hall, and she saw from a little distance, a marquee set up. People in black and white uniforms bustled around it, some darting off through the gateway into what Jess assumed must be gardens or some back part of the hall. But it looked so busy, that Jess had pulled him away. She knew what it felt like to see people standing idle when you were busy.

They'd walked back to the front of the hall and Felix had opened the huge wooden front door. They went left to the turret next because Jess had asked whether having a turret attached to your home implied the same thing as owning a red Ferrari. Felix had replied that as turrets went, this one was unimpressive. It was true that the turret was only two stories high, but Jess was delighted with the spiral staircase with arrow slits that peeped out narrowly to the surrounding grounds. And when she got the top, Jess had remarked that despite its small size, it still did the job. Felix had replied with a wry grin that he hoped Jess wasn't referring to him, so she knew her joke had landed well.

Truthfully, Jess could say, the view was beautiful. The curving stream, the light breeze catching the leaves of the trees and the expanse of sky beyond was so calming. If there hadn't been the sound of a generator, and the babble of voices of the events' team from below it would have been totally serene.

Jess had then been taken out on a whistle-stop tour of the hall, all of which was now a bit of a blur. She certainly couldn't have independently found her way back to any of the rooms she'd seen. What they hadn't come across, though, was any people. Felix thought his parents must be out in the marquee and Jess had pleaded with him not to disturb them. Introductions could wait until later.

They'd spent over an hour in a walled garden and Felix had left her briefly to get some drinks. 

Jess had sat on a stone bench and marvelled at the apples on a tree that was tied in a rather ruthless way along one of the walls. There were a few raspberries on a bush next to the bench and Jessica had leaned over and popped one guiltily into her mouth; its dusty sweetness was heaven.

She'd visited a stately home with school once and had been largely uninterested. But this place, Felix's home, didn't have the same feeling. It didn't feel like a museum as the other house had—not trapped in time. It felt alive just as this garden was with its ripe fruit and the lazy humming of a few tired bees was alive. 

But she didn't feel at home. For a start, this wasn't her home. She felt vigilant, even sitting there alone, she was on alert. But also because Felix's home was the opposite of any of the homes she was used to. Her own, a converted shop near a railway station, and her uncle and aunt's tied cottage took up less room than this walled garden. Her bedroom here was the same size as the entire top floor of her and her dad's two-bedroomed maisonette.

As she sat, Jess had realised she felt so out of place here that everything had taken on a dreamlike quality, and even when Felix returned, she couldn't shake off the slightly bewildered feeling of being in someone else's body. In someone else's story.