regret

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THESE EMOTIONS CAME FROM @Alianovna_Maximoff BLAME HER FOR THE PAIN 


y/n pov 

fuck why did i talk again. now lizzies crying im crying and oh for fucks sake. sobs wracked through my body and i felt bad for lizzie having to comfort me when she seemed in pain herself.

"im sorry, im so sorry for ruining your mood, we had just had an amazing day an-and now. im sorry, ill let you relax. sorry ill see you later" i started to rush and get up lizzie called out to me but i kept walking. 

i went to the bathroom and closed the door behind me. my legs gave out as i started to cry my eyes out. i was trying to be as quiet as possible but i dont know how well i was accomplishing that. 

i locked the door and decided to have a shower to drown out the sound of my thoughts. 


lizzies pov

god im so stupid she tells me all about her brother who she had to watch die at 9 and thats all i had to say. i was at a loss for words but still that was all i could come up with. 

i was left standing in my own room like an idiot as i failed to comfort my daughter when she needed me. 

what if something else happens and i cant help her. like the time in the hospital when i was trying to comfort her but nothing was working. shit am i that bad of a mother. maybe im not cut out for this. 

i love y/n with all my heart but she deserves someone who can help her. i wish i could be that person but i feel like i keep messing up. 

i sit down on the floor between my bed and the wall as frustrated tears flowed down my cheeks. was i not good enough. 

i mean sure y/n has told me how much i helped her and all that but was she just sparing my feelings. maybe thats why robbie broke up with me. he didnt see me fit to be the mother to the kids he always dreamed of. 


y/n pov

lizzie doesnt deserve having to deal with all my shit. she deserves a daughter that can fucking talk about her feelings without bursting into tears. a daughter that hasnt lost everyone before basically someone who is not me. 

I dont deserve lizzie. 

i dont deserve dahlia 

i dont deserve this life. 

i have a couple millions of dollars that i dont use. i dont deserve it. im just some fucked up kid who got lucky with some big rolls. but im nothing compared to the people i am living with right now. and dahlia. shes a national champion for fucks sake i am so proud of her but ive accomplished nothing. 

the scorching water was pelting down on my back so much so it burned. physically burned. but i didnt move. it distracted me from my head. suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"whos in here i need to pee" i heard scarletts voice call out. i quickly turned the shower off and wrapped a towel around my self. 

"one sec" i called out throwing on an outfit and turning the fan on as it was steamy as shit in here. 

i opened the door and she had a shocked look on her face. "damn its like a sauna" she laughed then saw my face. "hey whats wrong"

"nothing" i dismissed walking to my room scarlett clearly busting dismissed it and went to the toilet. as i was walking to my room i heard crying come from lizzies. 

see i always mess everything up. today was a "perfect day" and ive fucked it. i go into my room grabbing my phone and some shoes before walking downstairs. i met up with scarlett as we walked down the stairs together and she questioned me. 

"whats the rush" she tilted her head. 

"im going on a run" i said walking towards the front door. 

"not so fast" she grabbed my wrist pulling me back which hurt. "you cant go by yourself" 

"your not my mother" i shook my head ripping my arm from her grasp. 

"no but i will go get your mother if i need to" scarlett warned a confused but stern look on her face. "theres a severe thunderstorm warning and im not letting you go by yourself incase it rains or something happens"

"my parents are dead whats the worst that can happen" i rolled my eyes. i needed an out. scarlett was taken aback by my words and i took that as a chance to start leaving again. 


scarletts pov

i dont understand why y/n was so angry with me ive never seen her like this. "chris can you go follow y/n make sure nothing happens. she said shes going on a run" i asked to the man in the kitchen. 

evans nodded and put some shoes on before running out the door. all while i go up to ask lizzie whats up with y/n and tell her shes going on a run. 

i knocked twice on her door but heard crying so went in immediately. "honey whats wrong" i questioned very concerned now and sitting in front of the brunette on the floor. 

she lifted her head up and her eyes were puffy from crying and her face was tearstained and red. "i feel like ive failed" she sobbed shaking her head. 

"failed at what liz?" i questioned purely concerned. i lifted her head with my hands and wiped her tears with my thumbs. 

"i feel like im not enough for y/n. shes gone through so much and i dont know how to help her. i dont think im cut out to be a mother" she admited and it broke my heart. 


a/n 

lots of love


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